Topaz prose

Sunset Valley was proving so far to be a wild experience, something in which Topaz Exner certainly wasn’t lacking. Before her awkward, somewhat stifling stint of living with her brother, it had been rehab. Before that, a long run of misfortune and misery that led to the alcoholism that put her there in the first place. Little wonder then, that she had been so looking forward to a fresh start, free of drama and conflict. That was before she had met her new housemates. Ivy, the drummer of a three piece metal band. Stanley, the store owner. Aria, the fellow security guard, who just so happened to be the daughter of Topaz’s new employer. She informed the werewolf that the mayor had a taste for young, attractive women, liked to cheat on his wife and was therefore likely to make a pass at her. Topaz laughed it off at the time, but unfortunately, her enthusiasm for the job had been ruined before she had even started. She hoped she wouldn’t have to deal with it. Tate Farrington was the mayor of the town, for God’s sake. She would be guarding his wife and four children, too, one of whom had just been tortured. Would the man really attempt infidelity under such terrible circumstances?

Within the first few weeks, at least, nothing had yet transpired. From his wife Roxxi’s barbed remark about reporting any ‘flashing, accidental or otherwise’, however, it certainly seemed like Aria’s warning was valid. Potential homewrecker was not something Topaz intended to be, even minus the horrible family situation. Not even if Roxxi herself offered, as she was a damn sight more attractive than her husband. In fact, Topaz didn’t intend to date or have sex at all. Much as she had certain needs and desires, she figured the responsible thing to do would be to settle into her new life first and foremost. She still needed to prove herself, after all.

Topaz liked the younger Farrington kids, at least. Carmella was a sweet girl, and clearly a lot like her mother. Zeus, the budding nudist, was perfectly friendly, though after their first meeting he had started to wear a robe around the house following the telling-off from his father. Tristan rarely surfaced from his bedroom, still feeling the effects of his recent trauma. Roxxi had explained that he had previously been confident and bold, but had retreated into himself after losing his eye. The youngest boy, Julius, took little interest in Topaz, being only six years old. That was something she had expected. What she didn’t expect, however, was to end up supporting one of the older Farringtons too.

Of course, she had hoped to get along with Aria, as well as her other two housemates. But she had not been around for very long before shit hit the fan. Aria, upset with Anstine’s lack of action against Miles Atwood, travelled to Midnight Hollow to take matters into her own hands. She had intended to kill Miles in his own home, but hadn’t counted on Rikard arriving with him. Desperately, she changed her plans. Instead of killing Miles, she tried to get him to kill her instead. That way, she could act as a sacrifice, so that Anstine would have no choice but to finish Miles off.

Which left Topaz with a mentally ill housemate who she still didn’t know very well. Helping ill friends wasn’t a new thing to her; she had been there for Tony during his problems. But it was difficult to know how to proceed with somebody she was not yet close to. She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Nor did she want to ignore the fact that somebody was clearly struggling. When she was already involved in Aria’s family, acting like there was no problem at all was not an option. Not only did she know what Aria had done, Aria knew that she knew. There would be an air of awkwardness regardless.

Topaz decided the best option would just to be spend some time together, to try to let a friendship grow naturally. Aria had friends and family with whom she could open up. If she chose to do the same with Topaz, it would be welcome but not expected. So Topaz asked her if she wanted to go out while they both had a day off, and Aria agreed. A pleasant July day, they did some shopping in town before stopping for a drink in the cafe.

‘Y’know…’ Aria began cautiously. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed coming out, but… You don’t have to be nice to me just because I’m not well.’

‘Hey, I’m not,’ the werewolf protested. Shit, she had seen right through her. ‘I mean, I wanted to try to make you feel a bit better, but I still would’ve gone out with you anyway.’

‘Right…’ the blonde said, looking off into the distance, staring at nothing in particular. ‘My family are doing it too. They’re being really, really nice to me. I guess I get it. I really scared them.’

‘But it gets uncomfortable, doesn’t it?’ Topaz sympathised. ‘Like they’re being very delicate and careful around you. It’s well-meaning, though.’

‘Exactly,’ Aria agreed, looking a little surprised.

‘Yeah, I can relate. I’ve had it a few times, most recently when I came out of rehab. But it’ll pass. People are just worried.’

‘I think they feel guilty, too. For letting it get to that point. But it’s hardly their fault. It’s mine.’

‘Nah, there’s nobody to blame for that kind of thing, really. It’s not a depressed person’s fault for not recognising how bad things are, for not getting help sooner. You’re not thinking straight. You can only look back on it objectively once you’re out of that haze,’ Topaz said knowingly.

‘To be fair, I’ve not been right for twenty-eight years. Well, at least twenty. Ten maybe if you start from where I could’ve conceivably done something about it,’ Aria mused. ‘It wasn’t as bad then, though. It’s the past few years that have really hit home for me. Seeing my sister get married - I’m really happy for her, and she really deserves it! - and my brother, with his long term partner… Even Edward’s got a girlfriend now. I wish them all the best. But… it leaves no room for me. Oh God, it’s a nightmare.’

‘They don’t have as much time for you, now?’ Topaz asked, gently.

‘Yeah, I mean, obviously. When you’ve got your own family going on, you don’t spend your time bothering over your twenty-eight year old sister, do you?’ she sighed. ‘Because by that point, she should be managing all of her own shit. She should have her own family or… or something.’

‘Hey, I’m thirty-three, and I’ve got fuck all too,’ the werewolf pointed out. ‘I hoped I’d be in a better position than this. I really want kids. But I’ve no partner, and I’ve just moved into shared accommodation after living supervised by my little brother because I was an alcoholic.’

‘You’re not asexual,’ Aria said. ‘I don’t want a partner or kids, and I don’t have anything to fill that void either. At least you have some kind of goals. Not to downplay your problems, or anything,’ she hastily added.

‘No, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to do that to you, either,’ Topaz said, giving Aria a smile. ‘But I just meant, there’s older people than you who haven’t got things all sorted. Twenty-eight is still really young, too.’

‘To a werewolf, yeah.’

‘Even to a human. Everything could change in the next five years,’ she insisted. ‘Isai’s ace too, you know. He’s…’ Topaz hesitated, realising that she couldn’t really use the word happy. ‘Getting by okay.’

‘Oh, really?’ Aria asked, looking interested. ‘He didn’t seem happy when I saw him before. But then that was also my fault.’

‘No, he’s always like that,’ Topaz said quickly. ‘He’s pretty much the grumpy one out of all of us. He’s a very serious person. He’s got a heart of gold though, deep down.’

‘So what does he do with his life, outside of work?’ she asked. ‘Or does he just dedicate himself to that?’

‘He’s not got much spare time, but he loves his garden, and fitness. He spends time with the family, sometimes sees old friends… Honestly, he’s pretty introverted. He does his own thing.’

‘Ahh…’ Aria nodded. ‘I try to get into hobbies. Sim Fu, the gym, my friends. But it’s kind of like filling a gap. I think… I’ve got a lot to fix.’ She looked so sad as she said it, and Topaz felt like reaching out and giving her a big hug.

‘Plenty of people can bounce back. I’ve seen it,’ Topaz said.

‘Not really bouncing back if I was never there in the first place. It’s like, the foundation is shit. I’m not recovering from one traumatic event. I’m scared that it’s just ingrained in my personality now,’ Aria confessed quietly. ‘It happened during my formative years. All the neglect is just catching up to me. If you mistreat a child so badly when they’re little, they just grow up to be a flawed person.’

‘We’re all flawed in some way,’ Topaz began, and although she felt bad about it, she held a hand up to silence Aria when she began to argue. ‘Your siblings had the same neglect, right? Would you say they’re bad people?’

‘They coped better than I did,’ Aria said. ‘They turned out better people. They did! They turned out good, in spite of Tate and Sheri, whereas I just absorbed all of it and ended up fucked up! I’m just not as strong as they are.’

‘Of course you are,’ Topaz disagreed. ‘You’re still here. That’s strength.’

‘Only because it went wrong,’ the blonde muttered.

‘And have you tried again since?’

‘...No.’

‘Why is that?’ Topaz asked.

‘I promised I’d try to get better,’ Aria sighed again. ‘For my family. Because I don’t want to hurt them any more. Not out of some great will to save myself.’

‘That can change. I went through hell and back, and I’m finally on the other side. Pre-treatment, I never thought I’d be better either,’ Topaz said. ‘I lost my friend, in the army. Then later, I lost a baby. I miscarried,’ she said, voice wobbling a little. ‘...More things happened, but you get the picture. I couldn’t see myself ever being happy again. The only times I was happy was when I was drunk, so I just chose to be drunk all the time, until it became a full-blown addiction. I was fucked up, and I dragged my family down with me, too, until they finally had me in rehab. It wasn’t just a case of weaning me off the booze. I had to talk to a load of therapists too. And bit by bit, it helped. I learned how to cope. And you can do the same thing.’

‘I’m sorry about your baby,’ Aria frowned.

‘Thanks. It was just after twelve weeks. I’d just started telling people… Then I had to tell them never mind. Was a really shitty time.’

‘No wonder.’

‘Anyway, that’s the past,’ Topaz said. She didn’t want to go in-depth about that whole sad story, not wanting to get upset herself when she was supposed to be supporting Aria.

‘Well, I’ll try… I did promise I would,’ Aria then said. ‘And I’ll really try, not just go along with it.’

‘Good!’ Topaz encouraged. ‘You should rely on people. Don’t be afraid of bothering them. They really do care. You can always talk to me, too, if you need someone. I’m only upstairs. I get that I’m not your first port of call when there’s Stanley and your family, but you don’t have to go into the personal stuff if you don’t want to. We could just hang out together, watch a film or some shit.’

‘I’m surprised you’re not put off by all this, honestly,’ Aria said. ‘You’ve been around all of about two minutes and you’ve already been sucked into Farrington family drama. I’d run a mile if I were you.’

‘I’m kind of used to drama,’ Topaz shrugged, smiling. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Well, like I said, don’t feel like you have to put up with Tate,’ the blonde said seriously. ‘You don’t have to be a part of this. Any of it, me included. It sounds like you’ve been through enough crap already.’

‘If it gets too much, I’ll say so, alright?’ Topaz insisted. ‘I’m a big girl. I know what I can and can’t handle.’

‘It should be me reaching out to you to help. You’re the one who’s in a new town, not knowing many people. Especially with it being a really human town like this.’

‘Yeah, I’ll admit, I’ve barely seen any other supernaturals at all,’ she said. ‘I’ve been getting a few weird looks.’

‘I’ll show you around some more places,’ Aria offered. ‘You could meet Edward if you wanted to. He’s a vampire.’

‘Oh, I already did!’ Topaz recalled. ‘Yeah, he came to deliver the PND. Seemed nice.’

‘Yeah, all of the good qualities went to him, believe me,’ Aria said, rolling her eyes. ‘But yeah, I can help you fit in. Well, you probably won’t need me to. You probably get out a lot more than I do in general. But you know what I mean.’

‘Thanks,’ the werewolf smiled. She hadn’t expected to open up so much with Aria, but didn’t regret doing so, seeing how much it had cleared the air. In all honesty, she didn’t know what would happen now. Nonetheless, she felt much more reassured, and even cautiously optimistic.