Stanley AMA

TigerAnne: Question: What is the satisfaction you get from dipping your balls in your beer? 

'Oh man. It's more of a joke, to be honest! After a few, it's really funny. I don't really remember how it all started. People do stupid shit when they're drunk, and, well, I'm no exception... But I'm sure you all know that by now.'

TigerAnne: Still for Stan: Have you ever got so drunk you've ended up in bed with something that you mistook for a human? 

'...I... don't know what you're gettin' at. You mean, like, a blow up doll? A supernatural? No, I've only ever taken women to bed. Once or twice... I'd rather have a girlfriend than have a loada one night stands.'

TigerAnne: Have you ever settled down for the night with a porn-flick, only to have Abraxas show up as the handy-man? 

'Oh, hell no. I think I'd fuckin' cry if that happened. Jeez. That's enough to put anyone off for life.'

'Besides, I ain't got as much time for porn these days. I don't need to. Back in the day, Nari got me this weird satellite that had a load of obscure porn channels on it. Yeah, I used to watch it on the TV. We're talkin' back when high-speed internet wasn't widespread. A lot of this porn ended up bein' from other countries... so fortunately, no Abraxas in sight. Not that the men were that much better than him, but I ain't lookin' at them, am I?'

TigerAnne: If you ended up growing boobs of your own, would you despair or be overjoyed?

'My chest is pretty hairy, so that'd be weird. I think I'd enjoy messin' with 'em at first, 'cos of course you would, wouldn't you? The same if you suddenly had a vag or a dick - y'know, whichever one you don't already have. Gotta take it for a test run. But I think maybe the novelty would wear off after a while, then I'd have to start buyin' bras and shit.'

'...And Nyla would be pretty jealous if they were bigger than hers.'

GHETSIS DICK FINGERS aka BL00DIEDHELL: whats the worst thing youve done that doesnt involve your ding dong doodle

'Goin' to prison? That was pretty fuckin' stupid. All of it. I didn't realise just how violated those people musta felt when I broke into their house. It was a really wrong thing to do. And then the second part, resisting arrest and punching Ellis...'

'I still feel bad. He didn't deserve that, and I don't blame the guy for hatin' me afterwards. I just panicked... but it's no excuse. I deserved the punishment I got.'

TigerAnne: What's the worst accident/most embarrasing moment you've had that did involve your tinkly toodles?

'Prolly that one time I got thrown outta the bar for slappin' my dick onto it. Hey, before you judge me – there was a reason for it! See, I was kinda wrecked at that point, and I bought myself another beer before I realised I had no money left.'

'...So for some reason I still don't know, I thought I'd just... offer my dick as payment? I don't know what I was expectin'. I wasn't thinkin' that far ahead... or at all, to be honest.'

'Long story short, we were asked to leave. Yeah, we. Edward was there too. He ain't forgotten it, either.'

GHETSIS DICK FINGERS aka BL00DIEDHELL: stan what was prison like

'It was ass. What else do you expect me say?'

'...Okay, that's unfair. It wasn't the hell on Earth I was expectin' it to be, but it wasn't the holiday camp everyone else claims it is. Listen, whenever someone says that shit, you immediately know they've never been to one. 'Cos that's all you ever hear, people sayin'  prisoners should be treated worse, locked in a cell all day with no entertainment or anythin' good at all.'

'I was in a low-security prison, so it coulda been much worse. It was individual rooms and I was allowed a TV. People say it shouldn't be so “cosy” but... you're keepin' people  locked up, with barely any freedom at all. Every part of your life is regulated. They tell you when you can eat, when you have to go to bed, when you can use the phone, when you have to work, everythin'. You don't get to see your family without their say so, and it's no more than once a week. You're already losin' a hell of a lot... and like I said before, you probably deserve to. It's punishment, after all. But to take away the few freedoms prisoners do get? That's just vindictive. That's just makin' people suffer 'cos they think criminals don't deserve to be treated like people.'

'Not everyone who committed a crime is a bad person. Anyone can make a mistake. Bein' sent to prison shouldn't write you off forever. These are people who need to go back into society once they're free. How can they do that if they're treated like shit for the rest of their lives? So while prison wasn't completely, 100% awful for me, nor should it be. Hard time don't make people into good citizens. It just makes 'em more likely to end up back there again.'

Question for Stan: Did you find it strangely liberating wearing that dress?

'Y'know, it was surprisingly nice. Weird to have all that air around my junk, but in a good way. You gotta let 'em breathe sometimes.'

Rinthia: What favorite childhood memory always comes to mind when you think about being a kid? Favorite foods and color?

'Probably those times I was with the whole family. Goin' to Italy for Christmas, bein' spoiled by my grandparents... Good times. Ain't much changed really. They're still the same as they always were. But when you're a kid, you get all kinds of toys. It's a different kind of special.'

'As for foods, well, my ma is a great cook. She can make just about anything taste good. There's this panettone she does... oh man, now I'm hungry. And my favourite colour? Hmm... I'd say red or green.'