Saturday 17 February 2018

Eye doctor



'How are you feeling, honey?'

'Bit nervous, I guess. I know that sounds stupid; it's not like I'm taking an exam or anything. Same fucking feeling of anticipation though.'

'No, it makes sense. It's a big day.'



'I just... want it to look good. I mean yeah, it'll still be obvious I only have one eye, but... ugh. Suppose it's better than the patch.'

'The patch still looks fine, but I'm sure this new prosthetic will look great. Hey, you're a good-looking young man, okay? That new girl you've been talking to seems to think so anyway.'

'No thanks to Father, that's for certain.'



'Must be me, then!'

'Yeah. I'm grateful for that. It's bad enough that I tried to turn myself into a literal mini version of him. At least I didn't inherit his fucking face. No offence to Ellis or anything.'



'Oh, poor Ellis...'

'I know. I wouldn't say he's ugly or anything though. Not being bald helps. So does having actual human emotions.'

'Absolutely. You're both a million times better than your father, in all ways. Looks, personality, everything. And as you say, human emotions...'

'Like, even when Father tries to act like a normal person and smiles, there's still something off about it. To us, anyway, because know what he's really like and we know it's fake.'



'Faker than my boobs. His real self has all the charm of a severe case of genital warts. Or herpes, in his case.'



'...Mum.'

'Sorry. That went way too far.'

'Jeez. What did you ever see in him?'



'A healthy bank balance and a golden ticket back into your grandparents' good books. I know it was wrong...'

'It's not like I blame you for it. I don't care how prestigious our family name is, there's no excuse for Grandma and Grandad encouraging a middle-aged creep to marry their nineteen-year-old daughter.'

'Tell me about it. I didn't have your maturity or intelligence at that age, sadly... The sensible thing would've been to tell them all to fuck off and do it all alone. ...But as I keep saying, I don't regret a thing.'



'Even despite this mess we've all ended up in?'

'Yes.'

'Even though you've had to put up with him for so long?'

'Yes.'

'Even though you ended up with triplets?'



'Yes. The only regrettable thing about that was having to carry and birth you. At one point I had so many tiny limbs sticking out of my bump I felt like I was carrying a goddamn alien with three pairs of arms. You lot all squashed in there fighting for space; I think you started bickering even before you were born.'

'Sorry about that.'

'I forgive you. Yes, I ended up with triplets. But as I keep saying, I'd go through it all again if it meant keeping you, because I also ended up with three beautiful, amazing, intelligent young adults.'



'Aww. What about Julius?'

'A beautiful, amazing, intelligent child who might have too much of a fixation on farts.'

'Yeah, sounds right.'



'Tristan Farrington?'

'Yep, that's me.'

'Follow me, please.'



'See you in a bit, Mum.'

'Good luck!'




'Your daughter gonna be in?'

'Should be. Don't worry, I can send her off to the library or something. She'll have work to do. Last year of school and all that.'

'Good. Don't really do kids, 'cept for customers.'



'Customers? How young are some of the people you deal to?'

'Fuck knows. I don't ask and they don't tell. As long as they've got the cash, I don't really give a shit. Not a problem, is it?'

'Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. How you run your business is nothing to do with me. I was just curious, that's all.'



'Oh right. Sorry Suzie, didn't mean to get arsey.'

'It's fine. I'm really not one to judge. You should know that already.'

'Yeah, it's good. I got fed up of bitches who do nothing but nag, y'know? Had way too many women like that.'



'Believe me, I know the type. And don't worry when it comes to kids. I don't exactly do them either, despite having one.'



'Uh, hi. Who's this, Mum?'

'This is Austin. He's my new bloke.'

'Ah... didn't realise you had one.'



'Austin, this is my daughter Jude. Anyway, I'm just going to quickly nip to the toilet. Back in a minute.'



'So... how long have you and Mum been together?'



'About a month.'

'Oh, wow, not long then...'

'Yeah? What's it to you?'



'Dude, I was just saying...'

'Whatever.'

'Uh... tell me about yourself?'



'Look, I'm not interested in making small talk with you. I'm not interested in you at all. Just seeing your mum. Don't go thinking I'm doing some stepdad shit.'



'What's your problem? I'm just trying to make conversation. There's no need to be so hostile. It's not like I've asked you to move in and adopt me.'

'And I'm telling you not to bother. I can't be fucked faking interest in someone's kid. Got it?'



'...Fine, I won't then.'

'Good.'





'How is that for you?'



'It's... wow. I didn't expect it to look this good.'

'I'm glad it meets your approval. Does it feel okay?'



'Perfect, thanks.'

'Wonderful. I hope it goes some way towards restoring your confidence.'

'I really appreciate everything, Dr. Miguel. Your and everyone else's hard work.'

'It's my pleasure, Tristan.'

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