Saturday 10 February 2018

On thin ice



'Hi, Dad and Nalini.'

'Hello love.'

'Hello Vincent.'



'How are you?'

'Okay... Can I ask a question, Dad?'

'Of course you can.'



'Uncle Tate is definitely a bad man, isn't he?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so...'

'And bad men go to prison, don't they?'



'Ideally, yes.'



'So why can't the police arrest him and send him there?'



'It's not that simple, sadly.'

'Why not?'



'Well, it's a difficult situation... Not everyone manages to be brought to justice, unfortunately.'

'But you get into trouble for hitting people, don't you?'

'Ah... I didn't realise you knew.'



'That is the ideal scenario, yes, but sometimes people misunderstand things, and people who haven't done anything wrong can be accidentally accused of a crime. So in order to put a person in prison, proof of the crime has to be provided. Sometimes if a crime's been committed, the victim doesn't want to get police involved, too.'



'Aww... we really want him to go to prison.'



'Who...?'

'Me and Julius and Feli, 'cos Julius and the others only have to leave because of Uncle Tate...'

'Oh, I see...'



'I'm sorry. I'd like him to go to prison too. But look at it this way, when you see Julius again, it'll be like an extra special holiday for you.'



'But I miss him...'



'Oh sweetheart. Come here. I know you do. We'll go see them at some point, I promise.'



'There are other ways to keep in touch. Phone calls, the internet, if your dad's okay with it. I know it's horrible for you right now, but you'll adapt and find other ways to keep talking.'



'Plus, just think of all the exciting new bugs and things you can see when you go and visit!'

'She's right. We can call him on the phone. And I bet it's full of lots of different bugs and animals.'

'Really?'



'Really. Julius will love it over there. He'll be happy. And so will you, when we go.'



'And there's loads of beaches to go see, if you like swimming.'

'Yeah, I do.'



'So everything will be fine. Don't worry about Tate, okay?'

'Okay.'

'Your dad's right. You let us grownups do the worrying.'



'Oh, hello.'

'Are you a good police officer, Nalini? Do you catch other bad men?'



'I bet she is.'



'I certainly try! I got a reputation at my old force for stubbornly chasing baddies down, and believe me, it's hard to outrun a vampire!'

'Yay. You're so cool!'

'Aw, thank you.'




'You can consider yourself lucky that I'm giving you another chance after the way you spectacularly failed to follow instructions the other day.'

'Like I said, I went to the toilet. Last time I checked, I'm more than allowed to do that.'

'And you couldn't have waited until I returned?'



'Maybe, but I don't think you'd have enjoyed a puddle on the floor.'

'I would have preferred that to my fucking wife walking out on me!'

'Look, even if I had been there to stop them, what was I meant to do? Block the door? Fight off an adult and three teenagers? Besides, it's not in my job description to stop people from leaving the house. I'm sorry, sir, but you were unreasonable to ask me to do that in the first place.'



'Do you have any idea what a complete disaster this is for me? Not only will this make me look terrible to the public, one of my backers is going to be absolutely furious with me!  That's without mentioning the blatant hole in the security of this house now that that stupid cunt took the PND! This could compromise my safety!'

'I'll do my best to protect you by guarding the door. As for your public image and backers...  With all due respect, it's not my problem.'

'I could very easily make it your problem, Exner. You're on very thin ice.'



'So much for being pleased with my work. Or does that only count when you think my vagina's available for you?'

'I was pleased until you let my wife and kids walk out on me!'

'I maintain what I said before. If you have a big enough problem with it, report it to my employer. Of course, I'd have to explain my side... which would probably include telling them what caused your wife to leave.'



'...Fine. I take your point. We've both done things to upset the other. Let's just move on.'

'I'm okay with that.'



'Now, I'm going out to try to fix this mess. I won't be that long. Make sure you stay in front of the door.'

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