Farrington-Gores: Help

'Okay. Now that the dust has settled a little bit and we're alone, I want you to tell me about how you've been feeling.'

'Do I have to lay down on the sofa?'

'Ari.'

'What? You're making it sound like a therapy session.'

'I'm still really worried about you.'

'Look, I feel like shit. What else is there to say?'

'Why?'

'Because of everything that's been going on? We don't exactly lead normal lives. Our father is a former fucking hitman who can't keep his dick to himself and won't stop causing more problems. He killed our mother, though it's no loss since the bitch was even worse than him in some respects. At least Tate never hit me.'

'Yeah... we've seen some shit.'

'It all adds up. Much as I love you and Ellis, I'm really jealous of you. You two seem to just get on with it. I can't do that. Everything that's happened, it's fucked me up...'

'Hey, it's not 100% easy for us either. We have some emotional scars too. I'm sorry that it's worse for you...'

'But you're so fucking sorted! You're married! You have Logan! Ellis has Heath, and the kids! What do I have?'

'You have us, Ari! We love you! You think because I'm married I'll forget you, or stop caring about you? There's more than enough of me to go around...'

'I'll never be anyone's priority, though. Your own little families come first, as they should. But I can't have that. I am the way I am... I won't get married or have kids. Sure, plenty of people do fine without either of those things, but then they have other goals and ambitions, other things that matter. I don't have anything. Who'd even have me anyway? Even if I were normal, nobody would put up with me. In the end, I'm not even worth the effort...'

'Of course you are...'

'All I do is get in the way. I've never done anything worthwhile. I don't enhance anybody's life. I just make people worry, or hurt them, or scare them. I hate the person I've become. Tate's made me this way... and I'll never be any different. I'm damaged beyond repair. None of this can be fixed. That's why I was prepared to give up my life to Miles... if my death had resulted in Anstine taking action and killing him, then that's the only good thing I'll have ever accomplished. And if I were dead, it wouldn't hurt any more.'

'Oh my God, come here...'

'I had no idea you felt this bad. None of us did. If we had, we'd have done something much sooner... I can't believe you've been in so much pain for so long...'

'It's been 28 years and it never ends. There's always something else that happens... I can never really enjoy the brief periods when I am happy, because I know it won't last. The higher my mood, the bigger the inevitable crash.'

'Aria. Everything you've said... none of it's based in reality. You're looking at it all through the lens of depression. Okay, I haven't had it myself, but I've been through some rough times as well, and I know that when that happens, everything seems bleak. You don't have an unbiased view of yourself. Well, of anything right now.'

'Yeah... you're probably right.'

'Listen. I know you're on the verge of giving up, but you can't. There's a hell of a lot left for you to do yet. You've never had the chance to live a normal life. So you have to carry on until you get there. I'm not saying it'll be easy. I'm not saying it'll happen quickly. You have to change, and you have to want to help yourself. But you're not broken. You can be helped, and we'll all help you to do it. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for us.'

'I dunno. It feels impossible...'

'Right now it does, but it won't always be that way. Hey, what happened to the big sister I always knew? You're tough, and strong, and you don't put up with any bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be suffering just as much. You built me up during our childhood. You encouraged me to be the woman I am today. Now take some of that, and use it on yourself. Start being kinder.'

'And how do I do that?'

'Let Edward drag you to the doctor. Accept any kind of medication they try on you. Go to counselling sessions. They've worked well on him, so they can work on you too. You've barely even tried.'

'...Oh, alright. I guess I can't win against all you lot, can I?'

'Nope. The fact is, if you won't take care of yourself, we'll step in and take care of you for you. We want you to love yourself as much as we love you. So there.'

'That's me told.'

*knock knock*

'I'll go get rid of whoever that is.'

'Oh, hi...'

'Hey. I was told Aria's here. Can I see her?'

'Ah... I'm not sure, it's not the best time...'

'I was just worried after yesterday. I wanted to make sure she's okay.'

'It's fine, Raya. Let him in.'

'You alright?'

'Yeah. How'd you know to come here?'

'I checked in at Edward's and he told me where to find you. You know I said I'd have someone watch over Miles' house? I wasn't lying.'

'...Really? I never saw anyone.'

'Well, she called me when she saw you break in. She was gonna follow you but then those two assholes came home and barriered up the place before she could.'

'Ah, so that's how you know about it.'

'Yep. What were you thinking?'

'Hey... go easy on her. We've had this conversation already...'

'Murderous intent then suicidal desperation.'

'Oh, man... You thought you'd step in yourself because I haven't killed him yet?'

'Yeah. Something like that.'

'Look, I can be reckless and impulsive at times too, but please don't take risks like that. Messing around with him should come with a plan, especially since Rikard's involved in protecting him. When I have more ideas about how to deal with them, you'll be the first to know. I promise.'

'I know that now. Hey, I'm sorry about being an asshole to you before.'

'Ah, forget it. I already have. We're all assholes at times.'

'Thanks. I felt really bad afterwards.'