A second PND

'Mr Fortescue. I'm afraid I have bad news.'

'Yes?'

'...My wife and children aren't returning home. I don't know where she's taken them and I've been unable to find her, so it's safe to say the marriage is over. Carmella won't be the one to marry Quinn.'

'...Is that so?'

'I'm afraid it is.'

'We had a deal, Mr Mayor. This arrangement was made years ago! After everything I've done for you! What am I supposed to do now? What is Quinn supposed to do?'

'Look, I promise you, I will find Quinn another bride.'

'And how do you intend to do that?'

'Trust me. I have connections. I'll be able to find someone who meets your standards.'

'Why should I trust you this time? You've already let me down!'

'I know, I know. But listen. Quinn wouldn't have been marrying Carmella until she turned 18 anyway. That still gives me a few more months. Can you at least give me until the initial agreed date? If I haven't found anyone by that point, then you can be angry at me. I swear, I have every intention on fulfilling my end of the bargain.'

'If you disappoint me again-'

'I'll be in trouble? I'm aware, Mr Fortescue. There's no need to tell me again. Do have a little sympathy for my situation. You're not the only one who has suffered a huge blow here.'

'...Fine. I will call you on Carmella's birthday, if you haven't found me anyone by then.'

'That's fair.'

'I'm glad you agree. Just you remember, there'll be no more money from me if you don't deliver on your promises. Goodbye, Mr Mayor.'

'Ugh, old bastard.'

'Hi, guys. Is that the new PND?'

'Unfortunately.'

'I know what you mean. At least the twins'll be safe, huh?'

'Oh, absolutely. That's the important thing.'

'Sir, Edward and Nalini are here with the PND. Okay. Go in.'

'Shame I can't ram the damn thing up his arse.'

'Hi! Thanks for so much for this. I'm happy the girls are going to be protected.'

'So am I, though it's a shame it won't protect them from their father.'

'I heard that.'

'Yes well, God knows those poor girls don't need to be targeted.'

'No, they don't.'

'Let's just get on with this. This is a bigger house, so of course you'll need to account for that. But it can go in the study again.'

'...Yes, I did already take that into account.'

'Glad to hear it.'

'Right. Wherever you think is fit.'

'It's up and running.'

'Are you going to test it?'

'Well unfortunately Madina isn't here to ice herself over. But I could go for a brief run, I suppose.'

'Thanks.'

'Much appreciated.'


A couple of minutes later...

'Fuck me, human speed feels impossibly slow!'

'Oh good, so it does work. Not that I expected any different.'

'Wonderful, that's that then.'

'Yup. So now that's sorted, we should leave.'

'Wait. Before you go, I was just wondering if, at some point in the future, you'd like the opportunity to spend time with a real man, if you know what I mean.'

'...Are you hitting on me?'

'Yes, I am.'

'...Really, Tate? You're doing this again?'

'Oh dear, did you forget your girlfriend is standing right beside you? The answer is resounding no, but I do want to say that if you've been having memory problems for a while, you may want to get that checked out with your GP. The average age for memory affecting illnesses like dementia is sixty-five, so you're certainly above that at seventy, but even so. If you have many more lapses in memory, then maybe Brianne should make an appointment for you. Goodbye.'

'...I'm fifty-nine!'

'Damn! You really got told!'

'What an absolute bell end.'

'I know. Still, that was an incredible response.'

'Thank you. Ugh. I'm going to go back home now, care to join me?'

'Yes, I will.'