Farrington-Gores: Avoid the bastard

'...So Heath's been blaming himself over it. It's not his fault, though.'

'Course not... he didn't ask to be involved in any of that. Giving your address to a dealer... that's a shitty thing to do.'

'Especially 'cos he'd already told her no. I guess she was expecting the guy to intimidate Heath into it. But I was there too, I saw the whole thing.'

'So if both you and Heath saw the guy, can't your dad do something about it?'

'No. Dad said even if we knew who the guy is, Heath's mum isn't co-operating with an investigation so there'd be no case.'

'That sucks. She's probably scared of further repercussions.'

'I know. I could give a good description of him too. I'd be able to recognise him if I saw him again. Probably in his 30s, muscular build, bit of stubble, brown hair, shaved at the sides-'

'Wait, that's what he looked like?'

'Yeah. Why?'

'...Because that sounds a whole lot like you're describing Austin.'

'Shit! Seriously?'

'Uh huh... Right down to the drug dealer part. Fuck.'

'Oh my God, Jude! And he's your mum's boyfriend? You have to tell her about it!'

'Yeah, I will... though I dunno if she'll care.'

'But he's a woman beater!'

'I know, I know... she already knows he's a dealer though. Gah.'

'Hey, you stay out of his way as much as possible, okay? I don't want him hurting you too. He seems like the type who would.'

'Believe me, Charon, I will. I'll avoid the bastard as much as possible.'

'And tell me if anything does happen, because we can do something about it. He might get away with what he's done to Heath's mum, but he won't get off so lightly if he dares try it again.'

'Thanks...'

'It's okay. '

'Y'know, when Topaz first told me about Zen, she said it was her brother who'd been with Brianne, instead of saying his name...'

'And...?'

'Well, it took me a second to realise she meant your other brother and not, well, you.'

'...Oh my God.'

'Yeah. Then my brain started working.'

'Christ, even if I weren't asexual, there's no way I'd be interested in her. The type of woman who'd stab her own sister in the back like that isn't someone I particularly care for. She's probably ridden with diseases.'

'Ridden is accurate. And you wouldn't want to be eskimo brothers with your own brother.'

'Ugh... Wait, eskimo brothers? What's that?'

'When you've both had sex with the same person.'

'Why is that a thing? That's disgusting.'

'I don't even know. It happens, though. Poor Edward...'

'...Dear God, are you telling me that at some point he and Tate have been with the same woman?'

'It was Edward's first girlfriend. Tate went after her because he's human garbage.'

'...He and Brianne are well suited.'

'The bitch deserves him. Sadly, the twins are there too, and they don't.'

'I know... I'm sorry. It's a shitty situation.'

'Yep. Anyway, enough of the world's biggest douchecanoe. How're you? Any news?'

'Nothing. My life is as interesting as always, i.e. not very.'

'A peaceful, boring life actually sounds like quite a nice thing.'

'Maybe we should swap.'

'Hell no. That'd mean I'd have to work with Miles, and I don't really want to commit a workplace murder.'

'But it'd mean I wouldn't have to work with him.'

'It'd also mean you get my family. Believe me, you have it better.'

'You're right. I'm grateful for my family, at least. Even if my brother has terrible taste in women, my elder sister takes it upon herself to embarrass me every chance she gets, my younger sister is absent and my youngest sister is obsessed with dog and wolf memes.'

'Wow. They sound amazing.'

'Oh, and our parents are swingers.'

'Holy shit!'

'Yeah. They're wonderful people, don't get me wrong, but I'd prefer not to think about that aspect of their lives.'

'...I kinda wanna meet the rest of you. Especially the one who likes wolf memes.'

'No. Between the two of you, I never want to see another Moon Moon picture again.'

'Aww, come on. You like it when I send you those.'

'Well, it's more interaction than I get out of the rest of the dating site.'

'Not much luck then?'

'No. It's looking to be a bit of a waste of time. I think I just don't have the personality for it. Nor much appeal in general, really. What about you?'

'Nothing much on my end either. So I guess you'll just have to settle for me and my memes.'

'Oh God, no. You I can handle, but the memes might be too much.'

'How else is a girl supposed to have fun? I don't have much going for me right now. Don't take away this source of entertainment.'