Heath and Ellis prose

(Author's note: This prose piece takes place in the early stages of Heath and Ellis' relationship, before the time skip)

Ellis' stomach wouldn't stop churning as he lay down on the bed, trying to get comfortable. The conversation he had overheard earlier wouldn't leave his head, going round and round his thoughts like a hive of angry bees.

He had been on his way to the break room at the police station, looking forward to being able to sit down after a few hours' patrolling. A couple of his coworkers were talking within, and what he heard made him stop in his tracks to listen from outside.

'Did you see him though?' one of them laughed. 'They look ridiculous together. More like father and son than a couple.'

'Wonder what he's getting out of it,' the other mused. 'Guess Ellis isn't short on cash, because it's definitely not his looks that did it.'

Ouch. The insult stung. Ellis couldn't tear himself away, though, and remained where he was to hear more of the character assassination.

'Oh yeah, that's definitely it. He's in that big house on Redwood Parkway. You don't live somewhere like that unless you're well off.'

'It's got to be a midlife crisis kind of thing. I bet he's loving the attention from a younger man. Shame he hasn't realised what a creep it makes him seem. It's like those sugar daddies, isn't it? There's got to be gay versions of those too.'

'The boyfriend's practically a kid, though! What could they possibly have in common? I'd be embarrassed to be seen with a boy barely out of school. No shame, some people. What do you even talk to someone like that about?'

'I really doubt there's much talking going on. He gets his leg over, the kid gets the rich boyfriend perks. Until he gets bored of hanging off the arm of an old man.'

That was enough for Ellis, who turned on his heel and left as quickly as he could. Keeping his head down and eyes on the ground, he took himself off to the bathroom, where he locked the door and sat down. Tears pricked his eyes. How could they think that?

But the next thought was even worse.

Are they right?

Hours later, when he had returned home and excused himself for a nap, it didn't hurt any less. Knowing that was what his coworkers thought about him. They just saw him as a dirty old pervert. And they saw Heath as a gold-digger.

What does he actually see in me?

Deep down, he didn't really think Heath was in it for the money. He'd never been happy to be paid for on dates, worried about being a freeloader...What they had was real, wasn't it? Heath had been fine with waiting for Ellis to be ready to take the physical relationship further. He listened to all of his worries and comforted him through his insecurities. When Ellis was finally ready to try it, it had been intimate, special. He felt loved.

So why were they being judged? Was being older really so much of a crime? Ellis hadn't even been the one to initiate the relationship. He certainly hadn't preyed on anyone for sex.

But is Heath happy?

The only way to know for sure would be to ask him. With a heavy sigh, Ellis picked up his phone and sent a quick text, asking if Heath wanted to come over. He happily accepted, and Ellis stayed where he was, waiting for his boyfriend to arrive.



'So what's up with you, anyway?' The question brought Ellis out of his thoughts. He had been half-listening as Heath talked about his day at work. Something about a customer being demanding and unreasonable. Nothing new.

'I...' He struggled to think of how to word it.

'Hey, are you okay?' Heath asked, concern in his eyes. 'You look worried.'

'I just... feel like I'm not enough for you,' Ellis admitted reluctantly.

'What? Of course you are!' he exclaimed, eyebrows shooting up. 'Why wouldn't you be?'

'I'm worried you'll get bored of me. We're really different people in a lot of ways, and I'm scared it'll end up pushing us apart...' Ellis confessed.

'Well yeah, but we're similar in all the ways that matter. We've got the same views, a lot of the same interests, we're both interested in having a proper relationship...'

'I'm still older, and at a different point in life. I've got a son-'

'When has Charon ever been a problem?' Heath blinked. 'We get on fine. I've never felt like it's been an issue. It's not like you've asked me to be a proper stepdad yet or anything. That'll take time.'

'But it shows the difference between us... Me being old enough to have a ten-year-old, while you didn't even leave school all that long ago.'

'I'm a grown adult. If you had a problem with that, you should've brought it up a lot sooner. Like, before banging me sooner.' He looked annoyed now, but Ellis could tell that he seemed hurt.

'I don't have a problem with it!' Ellis insisted. 'I don't look down on you for your age! It's everyone else who has a problem with the age gap!'

'Who gives a damn what anyone else thinks? It's fuck all to do with them. I know full well people like to shit on age gap relationships, but I don't see why I should care. They don't know me, they don't know you, they don't know us.'

'I can see why they do, though...'

'Okay, fine, I'd probably be a bit sceptical too, if it were anyone else! If you were some weirdo who had a track record of going after younger men, yeah. That'd be skeevy. But it's you. A shy, sensitive guy who'd never hurt anyone.'

'But what if you become resentful of me in the end?' Ellis fretted. 'I don't want you to miss out on anything you wanted by being stuck with me.'

'Like what?' Heath demanded. 'Going out and partying? I'm not bothered about that. It's not like I'm stopping myself doing anything I want because of you. I still have nights out, but I just don't wanna do that every weekend. Sometimes I'd rather have a night in with you. You know this. It's not like just because I'm a young person, I wanna live hard and fast.'

'I know...fuck,' Ellis sighed, running a hand through his hair. 'I'm sorry...'

'I just wish you'd believe me when I tell you how amazing you are,' Heath frowned, taking Ellis' other hand. 'It's you I want. I love every little bit about you. You're gorgeous.'

'It's just difficult to believe in myself sometimes... especially when people are viewing me as some kind of pervert or predator for being interested in you. Most of what I've heard from other people is that there's something wrong with me for who I am and what I like. It's taken me a long time to stop feeling disgusting for being gay, but it really doesn't help to be judged like this... It's making me second guess myself, making me worry that I'm some kind of dirty old man!' Ellis was getting more and more upset as he spoke.

'Oh, El... did somebody say something to you?' Heath asked gently.

'Not to me... it was a couple of people I work with. I overheard them talking about us. Laughing at us. They said you must only be with me for the money, because I'm too ugly for you to really want me.'

'They fucking what?!' Heath growled, eyes lighting up in anger. 'What kind of prick do you have to be to say something like that? That's bullshit, utter bullshit.'

'It really hurt,' Ellis admitted, and lowered his gaze.

'They had no right to talk about us like that. What the fuck do they know about us? How dare they judge us!'

'At least I know what kind of people they are.'

'Damn right. It says a lot more about them than us.' Heath swallowed his anger, and took Ellis' face in his hands. 'Listen to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You've done nothing wrong. We're just two people in a loving relationship. You're not a predator. How can you be, when I'm your first everything? If you were some kind of perve who preys on younger men, you wouldn't have waited for me to come along to lose your virginity.'

'You're right...'

'Now I may sound like I'm blowing my own horn, but there's nothing bad about fancying me. I'm an adult. Any issues that may arise from us being at different places in life are things we can talk about and work through, because our relationship is strong. There's nothing that can't be resolved by discussing it. It'll be fine, okay? We both want the same things, anyway.'

'I got so lucky to end up with you,' Ellis said, finally smiling.

'I feel damn lucky too,' Heath replied, and returned the smile. 'You just make me happy.' Ellis pulled him into a hug and rested his head against Heath's shoulder, a warmth spreading through his body. Heath wrapped his arms around the other man and gave him a gentle squeeze, planting a little kiss on the top of his head.

'Thanks. That's made me feel a lot better,' Ellis sighed. 'I wouldn't change us. I'm glad we are the way we are. I just need to stop letting other people bother me.'

'You do, because all of the people we care about, those who actually matter, think we're great together. Honestly, in a few years' time, nobody'll give a shit. And if they do... well, I'd question why they're so fixated on us. Maybe they secretly wanna watch us do the nasty.'

'I doubt it,' he snorted, blushing a little. 'Let's just keep that between us, huh?'

'Yeah, for the best,' Heath grinned, and went in for another kiss.