Farrington-Gores: Tate and Miles AMA

(Author's note: AMA stands for "ask me anything". The following post is a questions and answers session that originally took place on ModtheSims, with questions from the readers.)

'I really didn't think we'd be meeting again quite so soon-'

'Go on, if we're going to be made to answer these questions, I'd rather get a move on. The sooner we begin, the sooner I can leave.'

'I must admit, the no weapons stipulation does take the fun out of it...'

ewenk7: Question for Tate: do you have any comments in response to the rumours that the upcoming episode of Ye Olde Spacemen will imply that you are in fact a reptilian from Thuban VI?

'...Is this that conspiracy theorist bullshit? Oh, spare me. I've had to listen to all that before. The politicians are all secretly reptilians, aliens were the first civilisation on Earth and they taught the Egyptians how to build the pyramids, etc etc-'

'You seem to know a lot about it. Sounds like you paid a lot of attention.'

'No, it's just that one of my former colleagues was a complete lunatic, much like the person I'm here with right now. No matter how many times I made it clear I wasn't interested, he wouldn't shut up about it! Fortunately for him, he left before I had the chance to shut him up myself. Thank Christ the City Council days are over.'

'Well, I personally hope the rumours about the next episode are true! I'd quite enjoy watching that. Let me know when it airs.'

ewenk7: And what of the allegations that you are actively working to cover up the fact that Sunset Valley was designed as a giant Satanic alien-summoning circle?

'Well, that's ridiculous. I can't stand aliens. The green type, anyway.'

'Why? What did they ever do to you?'

'Put one of their own abominations into my son's backside? I have to live with that on my family tree now! My only grandchildren are two of those horrible parasites.'

'You're so judgemental. My nephew's wife is an alien and she's perfectly nice!'

'Hmm... perhaps you protest too much. I bet you'd still sleep with one if the opportunity arose.'

'No I would not-'

'God, can you imagine if one got you pregnant? What a thought.'

'Oh, don't be disgusting!'

'You'd grow breasts! How very disturbing. Do you think Roxxi would take you bra shopping?'

'Shut up. Urgh. Please, let's move on.'

ewenk7: Another for Tate: MorcuCorp offices in Sunset Valley: Y/N?

'If they're interested in meeting to discuss making some kind of deal, I'm open to it.'

TigerAnne: 1: If you could have ONE super-power, which one would you choose?

'I think I'd quite like mind control. Think of all the possibilities! So many ways to make Tate hurt himself... I could drive him slowly insane.'

'Being here with you right now is more than enough to do that.'

'I know you only said one, but I do envy Hazel's abilities too. Who wouldn't want to be able to teleport? It would make life so much easier.'

'...So, based on Miles' answer, I'd like to choose invulnerability. Maybe he'd finally fucking leave me alone.'

'Oh, you know that'll never happen.'

TigerAnne: 2: If you were a super-villain, what would your schtick be, and what would your costume look like?

'Is world domination a cliched answer? It probably is. Never mind. I don't think I'd change very much from the way I am now, to be honest.'

'Let's be honest, he essentially is a super-villain already.'

'I didn't ask for your opinion.'

'That won't stop me from giving it.'

'It's a shame I can't tape your mouth shut.'

'As for the costume... I'm not one for flashy outfits. I think there's more merit in looking smart.'

'Thank God, because I just got a mental image of you wearing Lycra, and it was not pleasant.'

'Good.'

'I suppose I'd take the opportunity to do what I wanted to my most hated enemies. I have quite a fascination for dissection. I would no longer have to care for having to keep my worst side hidden, and I could explore it fully.'

'...When have you ever tried to hide it?'

'My entire life, right up until you ruined it.'

'Are you sure? Because Sheri used to talk about how horrendous you were to her as a child.'

'Oh, please. I left her alone once I became an adult, didn't I? Even if that is due to her being family... No, I think a better example would be the fact that I never hurt Olivia. I behaved. I could have turned her into a human pin cushion, but I didn't. For the sake of morality, I didn't. What you did to me was the catalyst for finally giving into the violent urges.'

'...Fucking hell.'

'Indeed.'

'No, you are seriously twisted. I think the asylum was the right place for you.'

'That's incredibly rich coming from a man who sells out his own family. Anyway... costumes. I'm not really sure what my costume would be. No capes, though. More trouble than they're worth, if The Incredibles is to be believed.'

'You watched that?'

'Of course. Some of us actually spend time with our children.'

Lord St.Croix: For Tate: Do you actually love your children? No, actually, do you truly love anybody other than yourself?

'Well of course I-'

'It's okay, this isn't one of your election speeches. You can go for the honest answer instead of the diplomatic one.'

'Oh, shut up. Yes, I love my children.'

'There's no point in answering questions if you're just going to lie.'

'...Some of them may be more difficult than the others, but still. I see a lot of potential in Tristan. That's why I gave him Farrington Corporate Towers. And there's nothing wrong with having a high opinion of myself. Who runs the town? Who contributes the most to the family? Who brings home money to put food on the table? I'm the glue that holds us together. Without me, there would be no family. Simple.'

'Are you sure you're going to be able to leave? Because your head is so big now that I don't think it's going to fit through the door...'

'There's always someone who is jealous.'

'If you say so, Tate. If you say so.'

Lord St.Croix: Also, if, hypothetically speaking, Roxxi left you, would you marry again? If so, to who?

'Oh, believe me, Roxxi isn't going to leave me. But after she dies, hopefully of natural causes following a long life, I will remarry eventually. I'm going to be living a very long time, after all. I don't want to get lonely, and I'm interested in adding more children to my legacy.'

'What's so funny, Miles?'

'You. I wouldn't get your hopes up about a long life.'

'I'm age frozen.'

'That doesn't protect you from being killed. Even if I don't do it, someone else will.'

'I find that very unlikely. As for who I would marry... well, it depends on me meeting someone who meets all my high standards.'

'Such as being under the age of thirty.'

'There's nothing wrong with that. Presuming I marry a human, I'd like somebody who will be able to have my children. There's no point in going for somebody out of their fertile years, is there?'

Lord St.Croix: For Miles: you were married to a demon, what was that like?

'Hang on, you were married?!'

'Yes, I was married.'

'Who the hell would marry you?'

'Hazel's mother. She was called Aosoth. We were very happy together...'

'How did you even meet?'

'When she was summoned. I'd always had an interest in the supernatural, and when I found out about cults in Midnight Hollow, I was intrigued. They managed to bring her into our world, and I got talking to her. After that, we were inseparable. We had so much in common, it didn't take me very long at all to fall in love with her...'

'Wow.'

'I mean, she was a being of great power. It's a good job we never had any big arguments, that's for certain! But no, there were no issues. All couples have silly little things they argue over, don't they? And we were the same. Other than that, it was perfect. We decided to get married once she became pregnant with Hazel.'

'I really can't picture it.'

'We only had four years together... it was worth every moment.'

'What happened?'

'She died.'

'She died? How?'

'Someone killed her. I'd... really prefer not to focus on that part of it, so let's have the next question.'

BL00DIEDHELL: Tate: Please list, from most to least depraved, all the things you would do to Miles. Sexually.

'...'

'...I don't know who you are, but I hate you.'

'Wow. For once, I agree with Tate.'

BL00DIEDHELL: If the opportunity had been there, would you have done Miles' mother?

'For your own future safety, I suggest you carefully consider your answer.'

'No. Too old for me.'

'...That'll do.'

'In her prime, though... You bet I'd have made a move.'

'I'm so incredibly disappointed about my knife being confiscated.'

BL00DIEDHELL: If Tiberium is totally safe, how do you explain mutations in children born exposed to it in the womb?

'...Nobody's going to hear these answers, are they? To be completely honest... I don't care whether Tiberium is safe or not. I get paid by the companies to turn a blind eye, and that suits me just fine.'

'It wouldn't if one of your children turned out to be a Tiberium mutant.'

'Which isn't going to happen.'

'For their sake, I hope so. You're terrible enough to your normal-looking children, who all happen to be very lucky winners of the genetic lottery-'

'What the fuck is that supposed to mean?'

'I mean, they don't look like the result of a drunken night between Agent 47 and a gargoyle-'

'Who?'

'Someone in a video game. Hazel stopped playing because she couldn't cope with the resemblance.'

'...There's nothing wrong with how I look.'

'Okay, if that helps you sleep at night.'

BL00DIEDHELL: How many kids do you have in total? That you know of. How many do you plan on having?

'Ten. And my tendency towards multiples plays a large role.'

'...I feel even sorrier for your victims.'

'Victims?'

'Any woman who's had the misfortune to endure sex with you.'

'Ignoring that...'

'I plan to carry on for as long as I feel like it. So I can't give you a specific answer.'

BL00DIEDHELL: How many STDs have you contracted?

'...Just one. And it's the most common, so I don't think I should be judged over it.'

'Amazing.'

BL00DIEDHELL: Miles: Is Sheri your only sibling?

'...No, actually. Mother had two more children.'

'Wait, wasn't she sent to prison when you were five?'

'That's right.'

'And are they older or younger than you?'

'They're younger.'

'So your mother had two children in prison? Am I understanding you correctly?'

'...Yes, you are.'

'She got knocked up behind bars not once, but twice?'

'You needn't make a thing of it.'

'Fucking hell, she's a class act, isn't she? So who's the lucky man?'

'Ernest Scumthorpe. My half-siblings are Lennard and Rufus.'

'...Hang on. Isn't Scumthorpe your mother's maiden name as well?'

'Yes, it is. So what?'

'Your mother had sex with a relative?! Oh my God, that's hilarious.'

'No it isn't! They're distant cousins, okay?'

'Hahaha, that really is incredible! Can you play the banjo?'

'I really advise you to shut the fuck up-'

'Can I offer you a bottle of moonshine?'

'Next. Question.'

BL00DIEDHELL: For some reason that I assume is as inexplicable to others as it is to me, you facially put me in mind of a ferret. Comments?

'None whatsoever.'

'Now you mention it, I do see a resemblance...'

'...There's only one more question? Okay, let's hear it.'

BL00DIEDHELL: Finally, I'm going to use my status as a reader to protect me from the fallout anyone else would get and tell you this: you are a fucking monster. You actually manage to be worse than the man you have a vendetta against, and given Tate's many, many atrocities, that's quite the feat indeed! Considering how little it takes to make you snap and harm innocent, it is actually for the best that your father is dead, albeit under terrible, awful circumstances; if he really is as good a man as he was made out to be, he would be disgusted and horrified at what his only son turned into.