Farrington-Gores: The world's most awkward conversation

'Get the fuck off me, you fucking cunt!'

'...Are you fucking kidding me?'

'I'm sorry about that.'

'Go fuck yourself. You think this is gonna get Wednesday and your kid friends again? She's gonna want nothing to do with the daughter of the man that fucking tortured or killed her sister, you know.'

'Tortured or killed? No, no, I don't wish to see you come to any harm. I just want to talk, that's all.'

'Well I don't, so if it's all the same, I'm gonna leave. If I go now, I might be able to make it home by tomorrow.'

'It'll only take a few minutes. Then you'll be taken back to Sunset Valley.'

'Great, so I'm a captive. Might as well make myself at home then, huh?'

'Feel free. There's no reason why you shouldn't be comfortable.'

'So... I presume you know exactly why I brought you here.'

'I'd be more comfortable at home. And yeah, I can take a guess.'

'Listen. Hazel is not a threat to your sister. Quite the opposite, in fact. She was upset to hear that you banned contact.'

'Not interested.'

'Oh? And why is that, then?'

'Presumably Hazel told you how she saved Wed from bullies. I'm actually grateful for that, don't get me wrong. But I also know Hazel likes to bully other kids herself. I'm not some controlling fuckwad, but it's my Goddamn job to keep my sister away from people who torment others.'

'Ah. You're talking about the triplets.'

'I haven't said anything to them for a while now. Nor am I interested in doing it again.'

'Don't care, damage is done. One good deed doesn't make up for tormenting others for...how long? Months? Years?'

'I've changed. And I'd like to prove it. Seriously. I've got bigger shit to worry about than being a bitch to others.'

'Yeah, I guess knowing that your old man tortured an innocent fucking teenager is a heavy burden to bear.'

'...'

'So which one of the Farringtons told you?'

'The President of Go Fuck Yourself. You think this shit hasn't broken over the fucking news? I heard of Tristan's name before I even fucking moved here, he's a Goddamn teen celebrity.'

'That's wonderful. But the news didn't say who did it, am I right? Someone's been telling tales, and they're the only ones who know.'

'Yeah, like I'm going to drop anyone's name to you. I don't even like the idea of you knowing my fucking sister's name.'

'That figures. It's funny, though. You'd think they wouldn't want to provoke me. Never mind. As for Wednesday... you needn't worry.'

'You wanna fuck someone up? Fuck me up. I'm the one standing between Hazel and Wed. I'm the one making the decisions based on whoever gave me the information. Leave innocent fucking people out of it.'

'I don't want to hurt you. Believe it or not, I don't torture any old person who happens to offend me in a minor way. I'd explain my motivations but, well, I don't see it helping very much. But this isn't about me. That's the very point I want to make. Hazel shouldn't suffer over my actions.'

'Maybe you should've thought of the consequences before doing anything then.'

'Any consequences should come back on me and not an innocent person. And believe me, the hypocrisy is not lost on me.'

'You fucking disgust me. Besides, I already said that it's not just you that made me come to this decision.'

'You've changed? Prove it. No, don't ask me how, I dunno how you could just yet. Think on it.'

'So what am I meant to do? I would prove it, if you'd actually tell me what I can do to show I'm sorry.'

'...I just said that I don't know how right now. I think we're done here. Have fun fucking with Tate, because that I don't give a shit about. Makes my job easier. I'd like to go home.'

'Then you're putting me in an unwinnable situation. You know what? I'd accept it if this was coming from Wednesday. But it's not, it's coming from you. She's almost an adult, for God's sake.'

'Believe me, I'm not exactly enjoying taking a friend away from her, but I've gotta do what I feel's best for her.'

'Interfering like this isn't what's best! You're treating her like a child. You're making me out to be the scum of the world and won't give me a way to show otherwise. That's bullshit.'

'Because she's been in this fucking situation before! She's had people that were her friends one day and pushed her down the next, and I don't want that to happen again! Look, I accept that if you're genuine that you've been put in a real shit situation, and I'd be pissed if I were you. But my priority's not your feelings, it's Wednesday's, and all I can see is what looks like the same bullshit at a different school. I'm her guardian. It's my job to make sure she's well looked after.'

'...You think I don't want friends too? Because I don't have any. Great, I'm now having to admit to being a fucking loser just to make this point to you. She was nice to me. She treated me like a person instead of judging me on the spot. I've had a lot of that. People disliking me because I've been a bitch, yeah, fair enough. But a lot of people don't let it get to that point. They see me and don't even give me a chance. Now tell me why I'd want to start being horrible to someone like her?'

'Why the fuck did you have to be a cunt to them in the first Goddamn place? What the hell did those triplets ever do to you?'

'...Nothing.'

'It was me. I encouraged animosity between them. Well, I've learned now. Involving her in my business was wrong.'

'Jesus fucking Christ. All because they're Tate's kids, or something else? I'm pretty sure they can't help that he fucked them into existence.'

'Yes, that is the reason.'

'...And that's disgusting.'

'Yeah, well. No matter how much we might all hate each other, I think the one thing that we can unanimously agree on is that Tate is fucking disgusting.'

'Don't get me started. Christ. I used to have the bastard as a brother-in-law.'

'...His kids have suffered enough having him as a sperm donor, even without you. But you know what else pisses me off about this situation? I mean, not as much as a kid being tortured for the sins of his cunt father, but a secondary, more minor reason I hate this whole fucking thing.'

'Go on.'

'I presume Wed'll have told you some similar shit if you've talked a lot, so despite me being far from the touchy-feely emotional type, I don't see the problem in sharing this info. But we're from similar backgrounds. If things'd been different, it would've been Abraxas that pissed you off. It could've been Wednesday that got bullied. Or tortured. It could've been us that got used for your own fucking means. That's a nice thought, ain't it? Because the comparisons between Tate and Abraxas are startlingly many.'

'...I'm sorry.'

'Really? Is Abraxas a murderer?'

'My first Goddamn memory is when I was a toddler, and seeing my mother's fucking bleeding corpse slump to the ground in front of me. Abraxas shot her in front of me. And then Wednesday was a kid, he called us, Gran - who is also Wed's mum - and the rest of us kids into the same room and did it all over again. My fucking uncle, who was the closest thing I had to a Goddamn parent disappeared, all thanks to that fucking psycho narcissist cunt!'

'Oh God, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say...'

'Don't. I don't need or want your sympathy. You fucked up that kid's life because you hate Tate. And it could've been us. It could've fucking been us. I overprotect Wednesday because someone fucking needs to.'

'Please. Give her a chance. I know and accept what I am and what I've done. Your reasoning is valid. But don't take this friendship away. Hazel is a far better person than I am. She means it. I know she does.'

'Well it's not exactly difficult to be better than you, is it?'