Return to Midnight Hollow

'Hello. You mussst be the Greenesss?'

'Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm Logan, that's my wife Saraya and my sister-in-law Aria.'

'It was me Isai gave Saeran's number to.'

'Okay. Niccce to meet you, come in. Sssaeran'sss in the living room.'

'Nice to meet you too.'

'Hey!'

'Hey. We've been looking forward to this!'

'Cool, cool. Anything you want? Drinks?'

'Nah, I'm okay thanks.'

'I'm good.'

'So forgive me if I sound racist or offensive, but were you born in SimNation or somewhere else?'

'Not at all. Blood Dancccer wasss born in lule territory, the blood marshesss, and raisssed in a tribe. Fortunately Blood Dancccer isss relatively even tempered for the typical lule and hasss not had much problem in adjusssting to a more human lifessstyle.'

'So where is lule territory? We hadn't heard of it before. Probably 'cos we're from Sunset Valley, which is really human.'

'Outssside of SssimNation completely. While the marshesss are technologically barren, other racccesss outssside of them were able to conssstruct a form of FTL travel, which allowed sssome of the more adventurousss among our number of all racccesss to go and exxxplore.'

'Ahh, nice. So, what do we need to know?'

'Lule have a mostly carnivorous diet. They can tolerate some non meat foods, like say Blood Dancer's got a bit of a thing for chocolate, but for actual meals, just a big ole slab of meat'll do the trick. Well, when they're older.'

'Lule babiesss can take milk, though the toddler yearsss before being fully weaned can be a bit...unpleasssant.'

'Yeaaahhh, neither of you've got an aversion to meat, right? 'Cause our eldest likes to eat some stanky-ass animal smoothie that I won't go near.'

'No, I'm okay to make that. I own a restaurant, so I'm used to handling food. Though it does sound a bit gross!'

'Yeah, it's stuff like liquidised burger patties. I mean, I'm okay with eating raw meat, I'm a werewolf. I just draw the line at drinking it!'

'It'sss deliciousss.'

'Gross.'

'Raw meat?'

'Blood Dancccer sssuggestsss heating the drink up before giving it to a sssmall lule, jussst to be on the sssafe ssside -'

'- Nommy nommy hot meat drink.'

'Sssshh. But onccce they're older, they'll be able to eat raw meat more sssafely.'

'Wow, better than humans. Last time I wasn't careful enough with food prep I had wicked shits.'

'...Oh Ari.'

'Hard for a lule to get the shits, they don't have buttholes.'

'Oh wow, seriously?'

'Nor genitalsss, we are biologically genderlesssss.'

'That's why she's boobless too.'

'...Blood Dancccer isss going to put you up for adoption sssoon!'

'Aww babe no, you couldn't do that!'

'Hmm.'

'Oh wow.'

'So how can you tell the gender of a lule baby?'

'You can't. You wait until the baby isss older and able to make a decccision for themssselvesss.'

'Ah, cool. Don't worry, I know all about how to deal with gender stuff. That won't be a problem.'

'Okay, good.'

'Oh yeah, like I said on the phone, around the age of puberty the kid'll likely express an interest in hunting, so make sure what kind of stuff is okay to hunt and what isn't. Peoples' pets: bad. Burglars: totally fine -'

'Only kidding babe!'

'What's lule puberty like?'

'Pretty sssimilar to humansss in a few waysss. Like being moody and developing an interessst in romanccce typical. And alssso the hunting thing Sssaeran mentioned. It'sss likely the child will want to take up some form of ssself defenccce, though that isss probably quite obviousss.'

'...Can you have sex?'

'Logan!'

'Well she can give me blow-'

'Sssaeran!' 

'...Sorry.'

'Honestly.'

'Hey, it's good to know though! If we have a lule child, we'd need to know what kind of Talk to give them!'

'We reproduccce via producccing ssseedsss, ssso any sssex talk would be about human biology.'

'Are most lule interested in romance? Just without the sex?'

'That differsss from lule to lule. Obviousssly there'sss not much that can be received intimately by usss, but it'sss not uncommon for sssome to be greatly interesssted in sssexual activitiesss -'

'- Like y-'

'-Do not finisssh that sssentenccce. Sssome, on the other hand, essspecially amongssst lule that haven't had much exxxposssure to other racccesss full ssstop, may find body partsss that we don't have to be weird, or even repulsssive.'

'Yeah, that makes sense. I'm human but I still find dicks weird.'

'What do we need to do to prove ourselves to you, then?'

'A bit of information about yourssselvesss and lifessstylessss, and a look at your home. To sssee what needsss baby proofing, that kind of thing.'

'Okay, well, we're both twenty-five. Been together since we were eighteen, and got married just over a year ago. Hm... do you wonder why we're not having them biologically?'

'Yeah, but I'm nosy.'

'You don't need to ssstate your reasssonsss if you don't want to. Ssso long as you're fit to be parentsss, we don't mind why you're opting for adoption.'

'...Well, it's because we can't. I'm transgender. That's why I said I know how to deal with the gender thing.'

'These two will make great parents. I saw the way Raya was with our little siblings when they were babies. She's a natural mum.'

'Ooh right, I see.'

'At leassst you have the potential to help a child with gender isssuesss then.'

'So what kinda jobs d'you do? Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask about exact wages or anything, but some info to get an idea of what your day to day lives are like'd be good.'

'I'm a firefighter.'

'And I run a restaurant, as I said. So my hours are flexible.'

'Oh good, fire sssafety isss of exxxtra importanccce. Being plantsss, we would perisssh fassster in a fire.'

'So what about other people that might be able to help if you're both stuck with crappy hours or something?'

'Ahh, that wouldn't be a problem. My older brother could help out, or my uncle. They're both great with kids.'

'Or my mum.'

'Awesome. What about smoking, drinking?'

'Neither of us smoke, and we only drink on the weekends.'

'I think that's pretty much all the questions then?'

'Yesss. All we need to do now isss to arrange a home visssit.'

'Great. Another weekend would be good.'

'Yup, that'd be a good time for us too.'

'So ORTOS lets you out at weekends?'

'Yeah, but no belly rubs sadly. On the upside though, Sexy Cyborg Dictator doesn't insist on employees wearing a leash when we leave the facility.'

'Who's the Sexy Cyborg Dictator?'

'He's my boss, Captain Knighton. He's a real heart throb, I nearly went gay the first time I saw him. He's got like one steel prosthetic arm, a pizza face that's more pepperoni than dough, and the finest curly black neckbeard.'

'Wow, he sounds really sexy. I'll have to meet him!'