Bad decisions

'Hey, Charon. We're gonna order food soon. Wanna come downstairs and pick what you're having?'

'Oh, sure. I'll be there in a minute.'

'Alright, cool.'

'...Hang on. I wanna talk to you about something, if that's okay.'

'Course it is. What's up?'

'How did you and Dad get together anyway?'

'Oh, that? I just kissed him.'

'Just like that?'

'Yeah. It wasn't the best approach, to be honest. I did it in a really stupid way involving mistletoe, and he thought I was just taking the piss. It was a little bit longer 'til I could convince him I actually meant it.'

'So presumably that worked then.'

'Yeah, once we'd cleared up that confusion, we got together properly. And the rest, as they say, is history.'

'That's good.'

'Why you asking?'

'Just wondered. I'm not really sure how you do the whole asking someone out thing. I didn't think kissing someone out of nowhere was something people actually did.'

'Well, I wouldn't necessarily recommend it... I was a nineteen-year-old idiot. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. But then again, no-one really does, do they? Not that first time.'

'Mmm... thing is, I've already got a good idea she likes me, so I guess I don't need to worry about that. It's just starting the conversation.'

'Hey, that's much more than most people! It's the fear of rejection that scares them off doing it.'

'Exactly. But, y'know, she came into school wearing a shirt that said “I'm just waiting to get probed”...'

'...Whoa, seriously?'

'Yeah.'

'I don't think she could be much clearer than that! How'd you react?'

'Just flirted a bit, said I was interested. But then we got interrupted.'

'It's funny, nobody usually asks my advice on these things. Ivy, charming girl she is, once said I couldn't pull a pair of curtains shut.'

'Ouch.'

'I know! Anyway, I think you need to set up a date. Some time together, just you and her, where nobody's gonna interfere. Go to the cinema or something. I bet your dad'll give you the money. If you do that, I bet it'll all fall into place. I'm sure it's what she's waiting for.'

'Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Heath.'

'No problem, kid. Just stay safe when you finally do make it to bone town.'

'Sure I will. I don't wanna be a dad any time soon.'

'And I'm pretty sure Ellis doesn't wanna be a grandad any time soon either!'

'Exactly. “Don't be silly, wrap your willy.”'

'Cover your stump before you hump!'

'If you're not gonna sack it, go home and whack it.'

'Don't be a loner, cover your boner.'

'Sock that wang, before you bang.'

'And so on and so forth!'

'Hi, Roxxi. Can I talk to you quickly?'

'Oh, hi, Topaz. How's it going?'

'Okay. I, um, don't have long. I'm at work right now and I shouldn't be on the phone. I'll get into trouble.'

'Okay... what's up?'

'Tate's moved house. They've just been finishing it up today.'

'He managed to complete a house move so soon after being stabbed in the balls? Wow.'

'Well, other people did all the work. All he had to do is be driven over and now he's resting up in bed. I think he's been planning this for a while, but sped it up after the attack.'

'To try to hide from Miles? I doubt it'll work for long.'

'Yeah, me too.'

'Can't say I'm sorry about it. So, is that it?'

'No... I'm sorry, Roxxi. It's who's moved in with him that's the real issue...'

'...What do you mean?'

'A woman called Brianne and her twin girls...'

'Oh God, no! You're kidding?!'

'Nope... I really am sorry.'

'For fuck's sake! What is she thinking?!'

'I don't know... Look, I'll have to go. I can't afford to stay on the phone much longer. Don't want her or Tate to notice.'

'Alright... well, thanks for telling me...'

'See you later.'

'Bye.'

'…'

'Julius! Don't just wander off like that! And I never said you could get an ice cream!'

'Sorry! It's really nice though!'

'...Oh what the hell, I'll have one too.'