In the balls

'Hey, have you been thinking about uni applications?'

'Yeah. What uni do you think you'll go to?'

'I'm not 100% decided yet, but I'd like to be able to go to the same one as the triplets.'

'I haven't really picked one yet either... I don't want to go somewhere where I don't know anyone.'

'Maybe Pleasantview. It's nearby and has my course. Jude's applying there too... What do you wanna study?'

'Oh, cool. I want to be a writer one day, so English mainly, especially if there's a course specifically for creative writing. But Indigo's encouraging me to pick something else too, just in case I don't make it. Maybe Chemistry, since I'm taking it here. What're yours?'

'Astronomy. Not at all stereotypical, obviously.'

'I think I'd be curious about it too if I was an alien though.'

'Yeah, exactly. I kinda wanna find my roots. So do you do writing now?'

'Oh yeah, lots of it. I write primarily fantasy type stories, about the kind of adventures my tulpas and I have in our mindscape. We built pretty much an entire world together.'

'Sweet.'

'Hey, guys!'

'Whoa.'

'Whaddya think?'

'...That's awesome.'

'Huh. I don't think Charon has a probe though. Well, maybe his penis.'

'I dunno, I think it'd make a good substitute.'

'We'll have to see about that.'

'Aren't aliens stereotypically known for anal probing? Because that sounds painful.'

'...Uh, good point. I'd, uh, like to do it the traditional way first. I'm a virgin, after all.'

'And you're not Catholic, so you don't need to get around it that way.'

'At least they approve of anal -'

'HE SHOOTS, HE SCOOOORES!'

'Hey, if it were me doing that I'd be called evil!'

'He's evil too!'

'Poor you.'

'You should get him back!'

'Oh yeah, it's coming.'

'THE IRON TEABAG is undefeatable!'

'And to think you ruined such a romantic atmosphere.'

'Are you saying this isn't romantic as shit?! I'm gonna be real offended if we're not your brOTP!'

'What's a brOTP?'

'Like OTP, but with more bro!'

'...Oh.'

'Oh yeah, you definitely are.'

'You remind me of my stepdad and uncle. They're the same. But there's more ass-slapping than bollock kicking.'

'If I slap Ryo's ass, he'll stick it in my face.'

'Dude, I don't need an excuse to do that.'

'And fart?'

'Yep! It's my aim to fart in the face of everyone in our year.'

'Oh look at the time, that's my cue to leave...!'

   

'Oh, wow, Heath. You'll never guess what's happened. I just got off the phone with Aria. Turns out Miles ended up paying Tate a visit at home.'

'Damn, man, what happened?'

'...According to his security guard, he got stabbed in the balls.'

'In the balls?!'

'In the balls!'

'...Oh bloody hell.'

'We like the sound of that, don't we Nix? Anything involving Grandad in pain is a good thing!'

'Rather him than me, that's for certain. Because ouch.'

'He deserves it a lot more than you do.'

'I should hope so! I wouldn't like to think I'd done something that warranted that.'

'No way! Only the most delicate, loving treatment for yours. Courtesy of me, of course.'

'...Good.'

'So what happened after that?'

'Miles was using Hazel to teleport, so after he got caught by Topaz, they fled. Tate's in hospital now.'

'At least we don't have to worry about him while he's there, huh?'

'Yeah. We can just focus on the little one.'

'Boobies.'

'Not any more, sweetheart.'

'Almost a shame. I liked it when you had boobs.'

'I know you did. Guess it let you indulge your bi side.'

'Yeah. That's the only time I wanted to do it, though! Outside of the odd GIF or video, I've only got eyes for you.'

'Thanks, Heath. You're a true romantic.'

'I mean it! You're the only person I want. I'll happily be with you for the rest of my life. Nobody could replace what I get with you. You just make me happy, El.'

'...Aww.'