Farrington-Gores: Labour stories

'...And that's why my wedding was a total disaster. I mean okay, it'd have always been shit because of who I was marrying, but going into labour in front of the rest of the family and having to miss my own reception while my stepson squeezed out an alien at home... it was more than a little ridiculous.'

'Wow. And I thought Feli's birth was weird.'

'What happened?'

'Well, the plan was for my mum to come over from Bridgeport to support me. I'd call her once the contractions started, and she'd arrive in time for the main event. Nope. Precipitate labour says otherwise.'

'What's that...?'

'It lasted less than two hours.'

'Oh. Well, that's good, right...?'

'Yeah, if I'd been able to actually make it out of the house. Instead I gave birth on the kitchen floor, with only Stan's help.'

'.....Oh.'

'He came over to visit and suddenly my waters broke and I started contracting. He was going to put me in his car and drive me to the hospital but it all happened too fast, I couldn't move.'

'Wow... how did he handle it?'

'Really well, considering. No complications or anything, but having a man I barely knew suddenly all up in my undercarriage was a little uncomfortable to say the least.'

'Aww. Still, you don't seem to mind it too much these days...!'

'Haha, no! I'm amazed he could still fancy me after that though. No wonder it took so long for us to get together, I bet it's taken him these past seven years to get over it!'

'Bless him. Oh, there's the kids.'

'Hey Mum!'

'Hi, honey.'

'Where's Dad?'

'Not here yet, sweetheart. We'll wait with you until he arrives.'

'Okay. Hey, guess what?'

'What?'

'Dad's got a crush!'

'Does he, now?'

'Aww. How do you know that?'

'I heard him telling Stanley!'

'Ooh. Who does he like?'

'Nalini! She's a really nice vampire lady who took us out for dinner.'

'Aww, that's lovely.'

'Cute! I hope it works out.'

'I'm here! Sorry I'm a bit late.'

'Hey Dad.'

'Hi kids. How was school?

'It was okay.'

'Good. I made a clay willy.'

'...Oh, right.'

'That's nice, darling... where is it?'

'Julius squished it.'

'And then it was a flat willy, and you just can't have a flat willy.'

'Oh, Julius! That wasn't a very nice thing to do!'

'It was funny.'

'Aww, that's a shame. Never mind.'

'I can make another?'

'No, that's okay...!'

'Fine. I think I preferred making the clay poop anyway.'

'Clay poop..?'

'I made it a while back. I wanted to put it on the shelf but Mum wouldn't let me.'

'You're certainly full of creativity. Don't let anyone get in the way of it!'

'I won't!'

'Yeah... maybe it'd be nicer if you made something a bit more... appropriate.'

'I'll have to go now, it's getting a bit uncomfortable here. See you tomorrow!'

'Bye, you two!'

'See ya later!'

'Did you make anything, Julius?'

'Nope.'

'Okay... hey, Nyla, can I ask a huge favour?'

'Sure!'

'Can you have Julius to stay over soon? I need him somewhere safe while I go house hunting.'

'Oh, of course! That's fine.'

'Thanks so much.'

'Would you like that? A sleepover at my house?'

'Yeah!'

'Ooh, this is going to be so much fun! We can have a midnight feast and everything!'

'Hmm, I'm not so sure about that part...!'

'Hey, you two!'

'Oh man, thank God you're back. I'm exhausted.'

'Has she been difficult?'

'She is into everything, Ellis. I've been up and down more times than a bloody jack-in-a-box.'