Pissy coffee

'I'm really glad you gave me the opportunity to talk to you, even though there's nothing really wrong with me.'

'Well, I don't really like to say that there's something wrong with a person. But even so. I'm here to talk to anyone, not just those who are really suffering.'

'Yeah, you're right. Still, it helps me get it all off my chest!'

'Good! That's the aim. How do you feel now?'

'A bit like a weight's been lifted. Thanks, Mr Farrington.'

'Not a problem. Come back whenever you like.'

'Shall do!'

 '...Bye then, I guess.'

'Was there something else?'

'Mm. Yeah, there was. But I don't think I can tell you.'

'It's up to you, Jude. However, nothing is off-limits.'

'Ah, well, it's a bit more personal this time around.'

'If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about, there's no pressure. Take your time.'

'Oh, no, not personal to me. I meant more personal to you.'

'...What do you mean?'

'You see, I live in a bit of a seedy area, near a... uh, a brothel.'

'Oh. What does that have to do with me..?'

'I see people go in and out. Heh, so to speak...'

'But anyway, one evening, the person I saw going in. It. It was, uh, the mayor...'

'.........I see.'

'Sorry. You didn't need to hear that.'

'Don't worry about it. I can certainly see why you struggled to tell me.'

'Yeah... shit. Sorry. I felt like I had to tell someone, and there was no way in this world that I'd tell Carmella!'

'Not to worry. You're right, the poor girl's had enough to contend with recently with having to hear about her father visiting prostitutes. Christ. Was it just the once, or...?'

'Thankfully, yeah.'

'I'm glad to hear it. Anyway, school's over now. I need to go collect my son, and I'm sure you have other places to be too.'

'Yeah, you're right. Cheers.'

'Were you good at school today, Julius?'

'Course I was! I let Feli go first on the slide and everything.'

'Aww, lovely. I'm glad you're good friends with her.'

'She's great! She even finds farts funny.'

'That's... great, honey.'

'Is she the one who has the good-looking mother with the pink hair and tattoos?'

'Yeah.'

'Oh, good. You can play with her more.'

'...Really?'

'I don't see the issue here. He likes her.'

'...'

'Feli said her mum has a new boyfriend.'

'Oh yes, that's right! Stanley. She said he's really nice. I'm happy for her. Does Feli like him?'

'Yeah, she said he's funny.'

'...So when are we next scheduled to go to Riverview?'

'Nothing's planned at the moment. Why?'

'No reason. I just thought it might be nice to see your family.'

'It'd be a break, at least...'

'Father, I made you some coffee.'

'Thank you, Tristan.'

'Everything okay?'

'It's fine. How's the business?'

'Pretty good! Can't complain at all.'

'They all treat you with respect, then?'

'Oh yeah. They kinda have to. Hey Julius, do you fancy a ride in the company car later?'

'Sure!'

'...Just make sure he doesn't shit in this one.'

'I won't! I'm not a baby any more.'

'Good, because some poor soul might step in it again. Thankfully, it won't be me this time. Anyway, I'm going to go finish this in my office-'

'Uh, Dad...?'

'Oh my God...'

'Tate, did you just-?'

'Mummy look, Daddy peed himself! Is it because he's old?'

'Shut up! I don't know what happened!'

'Wow, maybe you should get some rest or something.'

'I... You're right.'

'Oh my fucking God!'

'I'm glad he's gone, I don't think I could have held it in any longer!'

'It actually worked! That's amazing!'

'Hehehe.'

'Tristan, what did you put in that coffee?'

'One of Charon's potions!'

'Well, tell him he did a good job!'

'Don't worry, I will!'