The trouble with the Farringtons

‘Okay, what is this school project, anyway?’

‘We have to make a giant family tree.’

‘...Oh no.’

‘Why “oh no”?’

‘Well… some families would have a much easier time of it than us, that’s for certain.’

‘Yeah, but the easy part for us is that we all have the same family so we can cut out so much work by working together on it!’

‘Exactly. It’ll be so easy to just… leave it to the rest of you.’

‘Oh no you don’t. Even if it’s all the same information we’re putting down, you’re doing all the craftwork on yours.’

‘Obviously.’

‘…Okay… We’ll make a start, then. Maybe we should’ve gone somewhere else. I don’t want us to take up too much space and make too much noise in the library like this. We don’t really need to be here for it.’

‘We brought you here because there’s no way we can go to theirs, and they can’t come to ours either.’

‘That’s true.’

‘And we asked you because you know it better than us and you can help us out with it.’

‘Alright then, I will. It won’t be difficult once we’ve set out an outline. But let’s not make it too complex. Did they ask you to start with yourself?’

‘Yep.’

‘Okay, well. Charon, you’re safe to go on the very bottom, while me and the triplets will need to be above you. It’s a bit lonely down there though, since obviously you have no siblings, and none of my siblings have children yet.’

‘And Vincent’s on the same level as us, right?’

‘That’s right. Because he’s our cousin.’

‘We have a lot of it figured out already, but we need you to clear a couple of things up. Because we dunno who your mum’s dad is.’

‘My mum’s dad…? But… none of you even knew my mum. She died before any of you were born…’

‘Like most of the tree? That’s the point, isn’t it, to make a record of a load of dead people?’

‘Yeah, and we knew Olivia, she lived with us for years! So we need to be able to put her and whoever she had your mum with.’

‘Well, it’s not relevant to you three, is it? You don’t need to go beyond Sheri, since you can focus on Roxxi’s relatives.’

‘But I’ll need to. You’re my only parent, Dad. I can’t put any aliens on there unless I make some things up.’

‘Look, that won’t be necessary. Maybe I need to have a word with the school. It’s insensitive to set a family tree school project in this day and age. Some kids don’t have a conventional family. Some grew up in care.’

‘We didn’t, though! And I wanna know, too! Can’t I be curious about where you came from?’

‘Oh, God, Charon… I was never close to either of my parents, so beyond that I’m totally lost. My grandad – Olivia’s husband – died before I was born. I never knew him.’

‘We only need his name.’

‘…I think it was John Atwood. I really don’t know anything about him, though. I certainly can’t go back as far as his parents.’

‘Maybe we could Google him and see if we can find out more about him.’

‘No! I mean, don’t bother, the school won’t be expecting you to go back that far. And you might struggle for space once you’ve added Aria, Saraya and the triplets.’

‘Doesn’t that mean we’ll struggle for space too, since you said we can add all of Mum’s family?’

‘No, it’ll be fine. You’ll be able to add your Mum’s parents, and then just your auntie Brianne, right? She hasn’t got any kids as far as I can remember?’

‘Not yet, but I hope that changes. I’ve always wanted a cousin.’

‘Hey, Dad… Was your mum an only child, or did she have any brothers and sisters?’

‘…No. Olivia and John only had one child. There aren’t any siblings.’

‘This is really complex.’

‘You’re telling me, Zeus.’

‘Why are so many of our grandparents dead anyway? I hear people at school who talk about having great-grandparents still alive.’

‘Well… Dad’s already over fifty. His grandparents would be really old if they were still around. Grandad Sterling died early of a heart attack, and as far as I’m aware, Grandma Isla is still alive.’

‘Do you know Grandma Isla?’

‘No, I wouldn’t say I know her… I haven’t seen her since I was a kid. I think Dad fell out with her…’

‘No, he goes to Bridgeport to see her sometimes.’

‘Oh… do you go with him?’

‘Nah. We haven’t met her, but she sends us stuff now and then.’

‘Ah, that figures. Has she met your mum either?’

‘Nope. Father says Grandma Isla is old fashioned.’

‘Yeah, I get what you mean.’

‘I don’t know what he meant by that, though.’

‘It’s probably better that way. Anyway, get yourselves sat down. We’ve got a tree to get on with.’

‘Alright.’