Supernaturals

"Edward as a vampire... that's going to be weird."

"Yeah, Zeus, but we'll get used to it soon enough. Really, he's not much different to before. Hasn't left the house much, but that's the sun."

"So he really went and dealt with... him?"

"Keep your voice down, I don't want Hazel to hear!"

"She's still not here. I doubt she'll come in at all today."

"Good. The less of her, the better..."

"But yeah, my dad said Edward fucked Miles up. Not in those words, but you get the point."

"...You know something?"

"I may be a pacifist, but good. Ideally he'd spend the rest of his life in prison, but since that's probably never happening, being punished like that is the next best thing."

"Hey, Tristan. You're being quiet."

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm just thinking..."

"Thinking what?"

"Nothing nice."

"I'm the same. All I can think about is Dad cheating... and Vincent being our brother."

"Let's try and put it out of our heads. Easier said than done, I know..."

"Oi, what's getting you lot down?"

"You missed a lot yesterday... our Dad was outed as a cheater, Hazel's dad upset Vincent so Edward went mad and nearly killed him, then he turned into a vampire..."

"Other way round, Carmella. He drank his blood."

"Holy shit, what a day to get sick! Are you okay?"

"Not really..."

"Well, I'm here for you. All of you. Come here, you."

"Thanks, Jude. Wow, you look different!"

"Thought I'd change it up a bit."

"It suits you."

"Cheers! So...do you guys know what you're gonna do?"

"Nope."

"Does your mum know?"

"Yeah... I heard them argue."

"So is she gonna leave him or what?"

"I doubt that'll happen..."

"What's it like?"

"Never getting hungry is strange, as is craving blood. I'm just sticking to the plasma fruit, though. And I can't spend any time in the sun."

"I guess it hurts?"

"It burns. Good job I'm not a regular beachgoer or anything."

"There's Vampiric Sunscreen?"

"No, Tony. I'm already a bloody walking Twilight joke. I don't need to sparkle as well."

"Haha, just kidding. So I had your kids in my class earlier, and they seemed down... is there something going on in your family?"

"When is it ever any different?"

"...Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's okay. But you know I'll keep an eye on them. Things are just a bit difficult at the moment..."

"If there's anything I can do, just ask."

"I really appreciate that, Tony."

"No problem. So, based off your experiences so far, would you recommend vampirism?"

"I'm not sure. Why, are you considering it?"

"It's more a method of extending my lifespan. With my partner being a fairy, I don't want to grow old a long time before him, you know?"

"Oh, I understand. I haven't really thought about that aspect of it yet. The thought of the kids dying before I do..."

"Sorry. It's not a nice thought."

"No... wait, does that mean you discarded the idea of becoming a fairy too?"

"Yes, Edward, it does."

"No, I can't really picture it either."

"I mean, the jokes kinda write themselves..."

"...Oh, I see what you mean."

"Mr Bolton, a fairy in more ways than one."

"Well, you should go for it. That way I'm not the only one."

"The only supernatural or the only one being the butt of stupid jokes?"

"Both."