Indigo and Nalini AMA

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Originally Posted by SingleClawDesigns As for the AMA to both Nalini and Indigo: If you could see yourself as any fairy tale character who would it be and why?

'Grumpy the dwarf. Albeit after height surgery. Do I really need to answer the why?'


'...Hmm. I don't actually know a whole load of fairy tales, it's not like I got read to as a kid. Not much, anyway. I guess as bleak as it is, I'm probably most similar to Cinderella, minus the happy ending and the fairy Godmother. And minus Cinderella brutally murdering all her fucking abusers.'

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Originally Posted by SingleClawDesigns Indigo and Nalini: if the only way to save the human race from a trump nuclear apocalypse was an orgy with Tate, Abraxas and Miles would you do it or let the entire human race be doomed.

'........'


'...I fucking hate you. You're asking if I'd commit incest.'


'...So I think we're in agreement here. Let everything burn?'


'Too fucking right, the fact that Goddamn question even got asked is evidence enough that a fucking nuclear apocalypse can only be a good thing.'


'Okay, let's not go crazy now. Maybe contain the nuclear apocalypse to a small deserted area, with Tate, Abraxas and Miles trapped inside.'

'Not much of an apocalypse then, is it?'

'Maybe not. But at least the worst of the worst would be taken care of.'


'I guess. Add Saul. And his Abraxas fucking slag daughter.'

'...Eurgh.'

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Originally Posted by ewenk7 Nalini: Why haven't we seen your stove pipe hat lately? Or am I confusing you with Abraham Lincoln? You both lived a long time ago and possess(ed) at least one nose, so it's hard to tell the difference.

'What the fuck's a stove pipe hat?'


'...A top hat.'


'And I'm pleased to say that my facial hair is nowhere near as bad as Abraham Lincoln's.'

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Originally Posted by ewenk7 Indigo: Have you ever known anyone named Violet? How about Steve? (Steve's a color, right?)

'Yeah, sure. Steve's totally a colour. Anyway no, I've not met any Violets. There was a Steve in one of my classes at school though.'

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Originally Posted by ewenk7 Both: Who would win in a televised debate between Tate in a llama costume, Abraxas in tragic clown makeup, Martin Van Buren cosplaying as William Howard Taft, and William Howard Taft cosplaying as Martin Van Buren? Feel free to ignore these questions and/or call me an idiot as desired.

'Am I on drugs? Have I eaten or drunk something spiked?'


'I was personally wondering if I've somehow gotten ripped off my ass and not realised it.'

'I can't imagine you drunk.'

'It's not pretty.'


'Anyway. You're a fucking idiot.'


'...Jesus Christ, Indigo.'

'He literally told us to say it.'


'I don't think I have the level of insanity required to adequately picture such a scenario, but I like to imagine that Tate would suffocate in his llama costume.'


'Oh yeah, I can get down with that.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 Nalini: If you're not careful you might end up being a stepmum. How do you feel about that?

'Fucking hell, is he on the verge of proposing, or something?'


'...I highly doubt it! Too much, too soon. But I'd have no problems with taking on a bigger role in Vincent's life, if it's what he and Edward wanted. He's a lovely little boy, and I really enjoy spending time with him. Admittedly not so much the bug hunting, but fuck it.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 Do you regret moving to a town where the corruption of the police force means you can't do your job?

'Honestly? Yes and no. The reasons for the yes should be obvious, but I joined the force to try and help putting people like Tate behind bars where they belong -'


'-Try a grave.'

'Try not interrupting. So it's immensely frustrating to know that I've stumbled into a scenario where some rampant cunt is able to do almost whatever he wants without consequence because he throws money at the police force.'


'...But on the other hand, if I hadn't moved here, I wouldn't have met Edward. ...I don't normally like to get so touchy feely and personal, especially not with a group of people I can only talk to through breaking the fourth wall like this, but after my disaster of a marriage, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of dating. I assumed that if I ever did miraculously meet a man I was actually interested in, there's no way in hell he'd actually feel the same, so there seemed to be absolutely zero point in fantasising. I'm glad I was wrong.'

'That's...kinda cute, actually. Hope it works out for you guys.'

'Thank you.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 How are you and Ellis getting along as partners?

'Not bad, actually. Funnily enough, dating his uncle has actually helped to bring us closer together, I feel. Because of the amount of time I spend with Edward, obviously I'm running into other members of his family more and more, so yes, I've had plenty of opportunities to talk to Ellis outside of work, which helps ease conversations into what would've before been awkward silences.

...And of course more opportunities to see the rest of the household means more opportunities for Heath to tell dick jokes.

But yes, if you ignore Tate, work is good.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 What kinds of things have you learned in your long life, specifically things that the rest of us mortals don't have enough time to experience?

'People are shit. People have always been shit, and always will be shit.'


'I figured that out after two decades, not centuries.'

'Yes, yes. I mean, the pattern of violence and hatred that has plagued this world hasn't changed. Oh sure, maybe in some ways things have improved, but as technology improves so does humanity's ways of murdering. Now, to be clear, I'm lumping basically all humanoid races together under the term "humanity". Since vampires, werewolves, genies, humans, we all tend to share the same sort of ideologies, cultures and whatnot, so this isn't a vampire's rant on how humans are awful. Because vampires are too.'


'Okay, I will concede that some things are better now. It's not appropriate to go out in public and say that you hate a certain group of people, whether it be women, those of a certain skin colour or sexuality, and it's downright illegal to put people to death for the crime of being a vampire. But I don't believe that we will ever evolve to the point where all bigotry is one hundred percent gone and acts of violence are never committed.'


'Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to go on some holier than thou hypocritical rant about violence and pacifism, I am part of the problem too. I am a very angry woman with violent impulses that take a fuck ton of effort to control. But that's the thing, it's all part of a cycle. One person treats another poorly, and then the mistreated mistreats someone else, who repeats the same mistake. But as opinions in society have gradually changed for the better, weaponry gets bigger and better until you've gone from literally chasing someone with pitchforks and torches to launching fucking nukes.

You can do your absolute best and the problem still won't go away because of sociopaths like Tate, Miles, Abraxas, Ma-'


'Selfish, evil people who do what they do to satisfy a sick urge or to collect another couple of bucks. Or worse, the kind of maniac who destroys lives of some and outright takes those of others simply because they can't handle rejection and hearing a response they don't want. The kind of unpredictable maniac that leaves naught but a trail of destruction and fury in their wake because God fucking forbid someone say they don't want your fucking piece of sentimental jewellery or do their damndest to push back against blackmail and emotional abuse to not become some kind of Goddamn fucktoy!'


'...Uhhhh. Personal experience?'

'...I've said too much.'


'...I'll be honest. I don't know if the verbal diarrhoea I just spouted even makes sense. But unfortunately, the biggest lesson that I've learnt throughout the past five centuries is that things are shit.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 Not a question, but you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself. You're not repulsive, horrible or a bitch like you often claim you are. I hope one day you like yourself as much as other people like you.

'....'


'It will take a long time before the centuries of self hatred can be undone, but... thank you.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 Indigo: Do you have a favourite person?

'Wednesday.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 What's your type? What qualities, physical or personality, would you want in a partner?

'I dunno. Never really thought about it. I guess someone calm and patient, who knows when to leave me to rage, at least until I get a better handle on my anger.'


'Therapy is invaluable in that regard, believe me.'

'...Yeah.

Beyond that? I guess specifically looking for a masochist isn't the best quality.'

'Well you can't have Edward, that masochist is mine!'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 What's the most embarrassing thing Wednesday's ever said or done?

'Oh fuck me. That'll take some deciding. Announcing Abraxas' disgusting porn name in front of everyone was pretty embarrassing, especially since we were meant to be discussing the fucking ORTOS job.'


'Don't remind me, I'll want to drown myself in wine.'

'I'll get you some, I want to see you drunk.'

'Fuck no.'

'Not embarrassing, as such, just awkward. I caught Wed sticking the fucking TV remote down her throat.'

'...Why?'


'...Turns out she has no gag reflex. I could've happily lived without knowing that.'

'...Ah.'


'...The absolute most embarrassing thing? Edward's been nice enough to continue seeing us for therapy sessions on a weekly basis, and when things were winding down we just had a general chat about shit, and what's been going on at home. TV shows watched, dumb things found online, that kind of shit. So naturally, Wed decides that's the best time to announce that she caught me, um... watching gay porn.'


'Oh dear God.'


'I'd say Edward was almost as embarrassed as I was and I was contemplating jumping off the fucking roof.'

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Originally Posted by Nat 619 What would be your chosen method of killing Abraxas?

'Oh fuck yes, now this is my ideal sort of question. Ideally, I'd like to fuck him up a bit first before actually delivering the final blow. Get a pair of rubber gloves - really thick ones - and a knife, and I think I'd cut his penis off.'


'What the fuck.'

'I'd want to put him through all the horror and pain that he's put me and my siblings through over the years. Shatter his ankle, push him down the stairs. Getting a load of his money would be good, too. In coin form, dump as much as possible in a sack and beat him around the head with it. Brain him with his own fucking riches.'

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Originally Posted by proxiehunter Also, Nalini and Indigo. Have you read Tate Farington: The Man, the Myth, the Monster? If so what did you think?

 (A/N: This question refers to a joke from the former thread based on in my "just for fun" save, Edward getting an opportunity to write a biography about Tate.)


'Uh, what?'

'A page or two back, go have a look.'


'...No, but I'd fucking love it if that were real. Never mind Lord of the Rings, I think that'd be a fucking level of fantasy to include all seven Harry Potter books. Actually, that's a bigger level of fantasy than fucking Voldemort getting his dick wet.'


'...What the fuck?'


'Wed likes Harry Potter and showing me dumb shit.'

'...I think I'd actually prefer to talk about this fictional biography of Tate's life. Especially if I could see Tate asking Edward to write it. Because I'd love watching Edward getting the chance to punch him right in the face. Alas, I don't think even Tate is quite that out of touch with reality, at least he's grasped that Edward fucking despises him.'

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Originally Posted by Umbracide Yay, mafia! Indigo, how does being a genie work? Would it be possible for someone to bind you to a lamp or other object, or is that merely fiction?

'Let's face it, if it were possible Abraxas would've done it by now. I know some genies get bound to lamps 'cause I've seen a few. But the fact it's not happened to me yet means that either it's real fuckin' hard to do and Abraxas can't be arsed, or it's impossible for born genies to be lamped. Or maybe it's something to do with people who've taken a vial of bottled genie. Maybe Lazarus'd know, I bet he's mixed a couple.

...I'm not really sure what you mean by how being a genie "works". If you mean how did I become one, I was born like it. Full moon birth.'

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Originally Posted by Umbracide Nalini, do you find it ironic that you're dating a vampire named Edward, but it was your ex who was more likely to do things like steal the engine from your car and forbid you from seeing your friends?

'...Ugh. I hadn't thought about it, because I'd rather not focus on my one armed neckbeard abusive ex when I have a man far more considerate - and above all, sane - to focus on. But now you mention it, I suppose it it is, rather.'