Teachers

'Good morning.'

'Yo.'


'Hey.'

'Hello.'


'I'll take you up to Tony- I mean, Mr Bolton's classroom.'


'Thanks. What other class d'you share?'

'Maths.'

'Who's that teacher?'

'Mr Potts.'

'Oh yeah, the nutter. Okay. Bolton and Potts then please Edward.'


'Okay, no problem.'


'You're not wrong. Though I don't think Edward's allowed to agree!'

'No, I'm not.'


'Wednesday told me about him. Does he often threaten to break crappy CDs of asshole students' parents?'


'Yeah. And I'm not even an asshole student! Dad was really offended when I told him.'


'Oh, I don't know. I know what you're like when you're with Tristan.'

'He's a terrible influence.'


'Mr Potts has a pretty cat though.'


'What, he brought it in?'

'No, he let us watch a slideshow. It's got an unimaginative name though.'

'...In lesson?'

'Yeah.'

'Instead of working?'


'Yeah...'

'...What's the cat called?'

'Mr Cat.'


'Fuck me.'


'That was some lesson.'


'...I'm glad your classes are so productive.'


'Yeah, I'm fucking thrilled to be shelling out this money so you can learn about some crazy's cat.'


'Anyway, here we are.'


'I'm gonna go to the library. See you.'

'Bye.'






'Morning.'


'Hi. I'm Indigo, Wednesday's sister.'


'Tony Bolton. How can I help?'


'I wanted to discuss one of the other students in your classes with Wednesday. Hazel... shit, what's her surname?'


'I dunno...'

'Let's say it's Cuntbag then.'


'Oh God, Indigo...!'


'Atwood.'


'Oh, right. What's the problem...?'

'...I kinda prefer my suggestion, personally. Anyway, is there any way you can keep this bitch separated from Wed during lessons?'

'Well sure, but why? Has something happened?'




'She's a bullying fucking asshole for starters, and Wednesday needs another damn bully like a hole in the head. Any further details aren't mine to give.'


'Right...'


'Has there been an incident here?'


'The only incident that took place here she was actually being nice to Wed. But given her propensity towards bullying other students, I don't want Wed near her.'


'Okay, I'll make sure they're kept apart. If she asks about it, do you want me to lie about why she can't sit with her?'

'Yeah, please. Thanks a lot.'

'Okay then. If anything does happen, tell me.'


'I will, thanks...'


'D'you know where Mr Potts is?'


'Staff room, last time I looked.'


'I'll take them there then. Can I collar you later to talk?'

'Oh, sure.'

'Thanks.'


'Okay, great. Thanks a lot.'

'Bye Mr Bolton...'

'See you.'


'It's not far.'




'Hello, Sebastian. I've got somebody here to see you.'


'Who is it?'

'Indigo Gore. Wednesday's sister.'

'Uhh......which one's Wednesday?'


'The new Year 12 student?'

'Ahh, students. This job would be so much easier without them.'


'What? Oh you're Wednesday.'


'...Um. Yes sir?'


'Yeah, hi. So I'm Wednesday's si-'

'- I know, I know. I'm not raising her grade.'


'I...wasn't going to ask you to. I wanted to ask if you could keep Wednesday and Hazel Atwood separate in your lessons.'


'Oh. Yes, fine.'

'...That's it? No questions?'


'That's it. If you'll excuse me, I've got a lukewarm cup of sludge - I mean coffee - begging for a heaping of sugar to be added to give some damn taste to it waiting in the staff room.'


'...Huh. I guess a teacher that no longer gives a fuck is good for something.'