Elections

The mayoral elections have taken place, and to the disgust of some, Tate Farrington has won. Across two households, the family gathers to watch his acceptance speech on television...

“Why do these things always happen? We're doomed. Let's face it, life as we know it is over. Goodbye, Sunset Valley. It was nice knowing you.”

“Bit melodramatic, but I definitely take your point...”

“Sadly, your father has always had the incredible ability of always getting what he wants. Usually to the detriment of everyone else.”

“I don't even think I can watch this, to be honest. His fake 'nice, sophisticated man' persona really fucking grates, you know?”

“Shh, it's starting. And stop swearing in front of my son.”

“I don't mind-”

“Well, I do.”

“Today I stand before you, residents of Sunset Valley, as your new mayor. I cannot express how honoured I am to have been elected to this position.”

“I'm gonna puke.”

“Shh, Aria!”

“I have worked long and hard on this journey to finally reach this goal. I have fought through bankruptcy, the death of my first wife-”

“That you caused, you complete idiot.”

"Now who's interrupting?"

"Okay, Aria, point taken."

“Plenty of trials and tribulations stood in my way, but they have made me the man I am today. I am a father of six-”

“And three of them hate you.”

“You meanie! I'm telling him you said that, Saraya!”

“Go ahead. I don't care.”

“You will when he shouts at you again-”

“-and also a grandfather-”

“Bullshit!”

“Oh, Dad, you swore!”

“Sorry. But it's true.”

“I know it is! When has he ever cared about me?”

“I can tell you that I received wonderful news just yesterday that my wife Roxanne is expecting my seventh child-”

“Oh, hell no!”

“God help that poor soul.”

“What?!”

“Mum's pregnant?!”

“She didn't tell us! Ugh, it's not sharing my room. It's bad enough that I have to share with Zeus.”

“Get lost Tristan! Anyway, it'll have the nursery, you moron.”

“A new baby! Ooh! I wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl?”

“This is not good at all...”

“And finally, I am delighted to announce that I have taken the Age Freeze potion, and I look forward to serving as your mayor forever!'

“Has he completely lost his mind?! What the actual fuck?!”

“Wonderful. Now we'll never be rid of him.”

“That's great news. Father's going to live forever!”

“No, that's weird...One day we're going to be older than him... what then?”

"You always worry, Zeus! It's fine. He's our father. How could it possibly go wrong?"