Saturday 22 July 2017

Ultimatums


“Hey, Mum.”


“Oh, it's you. I didn't know you were coming over today. I'm in the middle of my programme.”

“Actually, could you turn it off? I need to tell you something important.”

“Do I 'ave to?”

“Please.”


“Go on then, make it quick.”

“So...uh, it's about me and Ellis-”

“Are you finally leaving that loser?”


“What? No, nothing like that...”

“Shame. You know what I think of 'im. It takes some kind of creep to be interested in someone your age.”

“Uh, I'm a grown-ass adult, Mum. I can make my own choices. We've been together five years now, can't you just accept it?”


“No, because you can do bloody better than that. I don't get it. Is it about the money? Are you a gold digger?"

"No! What the fuck?!"

"Otherwise, if he was good-looking it'd make sense, but he's ugly-”

“Shut up! He's not! He's my partner and I love him! When did he ever do wrong to anyone? Especially you, even though you've been nothing but nasty about him!”

“Christ, are your standards low.  Go on, tell me the 'important' thing.”

“I'm not sure if I want to... not when you're being like this.”


“Then why are you here? To just waste my time, 'eath?”

“No. I have good news.”

“Really.”


“Yes. Ellis and I are having a baby.”

“...what.”

“Yeah. He got abducted again, and he's pregnant...”

“Oh, that's all we need.”

“No, no, it's a good thing! We're really looking forward to it! He's about 8 months along-”

“And you didn't think to tell me sooner?”



“I was nervous. Anyway, I-I've been to all the scans, and it's a little girl. We gave her a name already, she's going to be called Nix-”

“I'm not interested.”

“But...it's your granddaughter.”

“I don't wanna be a grandma. Especially not to some green butt-baby-”


“Oh, for fuck's sake. I should have known. Hell, I did know, but I didn't wanna accept it. You can never be happy for me, can you?”

“It's not about that, I just don't want you to throw away your life on that man and some alien thing he's having.”

“She is my fucking daughter and I'm not gonna listen to you say shit like that about her. I am not throwing my life away, for once, I'm happy! What's your goddamn problem?”


“I've made it fucking clear, Heath.”

“Yeah, well, fuck you too.”

“'ow...'ow dare you talk to me like that. Fine, that does it. You either break up with him or I'll never talk to you again.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”


“Well, that's an easy choice.”

“See, I knew you'd see sense.”

“Goodbye, Mum. Have a nice life. I hate you.”

“You can't be serious-”


“Go to hell!”

“Oh, well if that's 'ow you wanna do it! Don't let the goddamn door hit you on the way out!”

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